Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Frank Lekeleke (I call him Ukelele)

This message ended up in my Spam folder and I decided to run with it because of the stupid name. Sometimes I look at the name and decide how I'm going to change it. This time I decided to call him Ukelele. Since this is a musical instrument, I figured my character should be in the music biz.

Characters
Scammer: Mr. Thomas Kingston (on his e-mail) but, you can call him Mr. Frank Lekeleke
Me: Oliver Klozoff

Here's our story...

_________________________________________

From: Mr Thomas Kingston
Sent: Sunday, May 31, 2009 8:34:31 AM
Subject: YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IS NEEDED

Dearest,

My name is Mr Frank Lekeleke , a Forex Account Bank manager,I will need your assistance in this business transaction.

I would like you to stand as the next of kin to my deceased customer, Mr David De Gersem, who died in a plane crash in January 31st 2000 plane
crash.

He was a wealthy medical doctor who made a deposit of $17 Million with our bank.

He died without any registered next of kin and as such the funds now have an open beneficiary mandate.

If you are interested please do let me have your following information so that I can give you comprehensive details on what we are to do.

Let me have your following information:

1, Full Name:

2, Address:

3, Phone Number:

4, Date of Birth:

5, Occupation:

I urgently hope to get your response as soon as possible.

Best regards,
Mr Frank Lekeleke


_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Thomas Kingston
Sent: Sunday, May 31, 2009 5:25:05 PM
Subject: Re: YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IS NEEDED

Dear Mr. Lekelekeleke,

My name is Mr. Oliver R. Klozoff. I am not related to Mr. David DeGerms.

I would like to help you, but are you sure it is legal? I would LOVE to get the money, but I don't want any trouble.

Sincerely,

Oliver
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com

_________________________________________

From: Mr Frank Lekeleke
To: oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com
Sent: Monday, June 1, 2009 7:22:41 AM
Subject: Details and Procedures of the Transaction ...... Mr Frank Lekeleke

Dear Mr. Oliver R. Klozoff,


Thank you for your mail, i want to assure you that this transaction is 110% legal and you will not have any problems, Once again thanks for your kind response and showing your prime interest in assisting me in this business transaction regarding the funds deposited by late Mr David De Gersem, which amounts to $17 Million (Seventeen Million U.S Dollars)i got your email address from my country's chamber of commerce. You stand to get over $7 Million USD at the end of this transaction and i assure you it is risk free.

Mr David De Gersem deposited this account with our bank in 1994 when he opened a company here in our country. He opened the account because every company owners here in our country are required to have a deposit with the apex bank and that is why Mr David De Gersem open his account with our bank and deposited the fund with our bank before his death in the year 2000.

The filing and recording department of the bank have tried to contact his relatives but no fruitful information about the relatives.This Lead to the bank to abandoned his account file since they are unable to trace his next of kin.

Three months later before our last year auditing our bank received a letter from the co-operate office saying " Mr David De Gersem's account was not registered with "kin" which means he did not specify anybody as his next of kin before his death. Presently this account is dormant and need to be activated but nobody can activate this account because it was unclaimed.

Now, my colleague and i are using our position in the bank to get a foreigner to place a claim on this fund with your name since all the required documents to fortify this claim is with us here in the office. Therefore my colleague and i will be successful to claim the fund with your name as soon as you are willing to comply and take the offer of 40% of the total amount after the claim and transfer of the fund into your designated account.My colleague and i will also share 60% , 5% of the 60% will be used to settle any Bank charges we may incure during the cause of this transaction.

My colleague and i can not claim this amount ourselves because we are working with the bank and the bank knowing fully well that we are citizens of the country and this is why we have contacted you so that you can apply to the bank with your name and lets claim this account/fund successfully and transfer into your account in your country. Have no fear or worry as all documents needed before the bank can approve you as the next of kin will be provided by my colleague and i. We will send the document to you upon request by the bank so that you can send the document to the bank.

We also need absolute confidentiality when claiming this account because I dont want my bank to know that we are the people whom contacted about this fruitful opportunity and that is why you must keep this transaction secret until these fund is transferred directly into your account successfully.

This transaction does not require any type of delay because the bank will close the account after three months and this is why we need to work toward this claim immediately and claim the fund within four bank working days to enable the bank approve the claim and remit the funds into your account.

By applying you will require filling the claim application form which will qualify you as the next of kin. Please provide me with the following information so that we can get started:

1,Private telephone and fax number

2, Full name

3, Contact address

4, Age and occupation

As soon as i receive these information from you, i will forward you the drafted application which you will fill and send to the bank.

Regards
Mr Frank Lekeleke


_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Tuesday, June 2, 2009 9:15:42 PM
Subject: Re: Details and Procedures of the Transaction ...... Mr Frank Lekeleke

Dear Mr. Ukelele,

Thank you for the clear, concise, and consistent message. You have truly covered all of the bases. I can tell you are VERY thorough in your job.

$7,000,000!?! That is some SERIOUS coin baby!!! I am a VERY SUCCESSFUL Music Consultant but I would NEVER turn down that kind of moolah! Dude, are you sure?!?

This money will DEFINITELY help me purchase that McMansion I've had my eye on! You know, the one with the pool and matching dog house! Mr. Scratchy will LOVE that!

Here is the information you requested:
--------------------------------------------------
1. Private telephone: 206-202-4392 - No fax number
2. Full name: Oliver R. Klozoff
3. Contact address: PO Box 2938B7Q3, Box Springs, GA 31801
4. Age: 39
5. Occupation: Super-Creative Song Lyric Consultant

Please let me know what I need to do to help. Let's get this ball rolling NOW!!!

Sincerely,

Oliver
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com

_________________________________________

From: Mr Frank Lekeleke
To: oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 3, 2009 3:49:34 AM
Subject: Fill and send the application to the bank now ... Mr Frank Lekeleke

Dear Oliver R. Klozoff,

Below this mail, you will find the drafted application which you have to fill and send to the bank.

My colleague works in the bank and he is among those that will treat your application. My colleague and i will carry out some work to ensure that the bank approves you as the next of kin.

Any document needed by the bank before they can approve you as he next of kin will be provided by my colleague and i to you so that you can send to the bank.

The email address of the bank where you have to send the application is:

info@metroalliedgroup.com

Please fill the application and send it to the bank immediately without any delay. Forward a copy of the application to me so that i can monitor the transaction from my end.

Thanks.
Mr Frank Lekeleke


_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: info@metroalliedgroup.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 3, 2009 7:48:55 AM
Subject: Next of kin to David De Germs


APPLICATION FOR CLAIM OF MY LATE PARTNER'S ACCOUNT
METROPOLITAN AND ALLIED BANK (GH) LTD.
Valco Trust House, Castle Road Branch, Accra Ghana
EMAIL: info@metroalliedgroup.com

Dear Sir, I Mr Oliver Klozoff humbly apply as the next of kin of Mr David De Gersem who was a registered customer of your bank, he is the holder of a fixed deposit account in your bank.

This account is said to hold an estimated. $17,000,000.00USD(SEVENTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARSONLY).

Bellow is the account information of my late partner:

Account # :6457128429
Beneficiary:Mr. Mr David De Gersem
Deposited :$17,000,000.00USD (only)

Please kindly be informed that my late partner Mr David De Gersem operated a company in Accra Ghana, by the name of chrome oil Services Ltd. in Ghana, West Africa.

Since his death, I have been unable to come forward to claim this fund due to family problems and personal issues.

Please upon acknowledge of this application, I would be please to provide more information that may be required.

Hence I would like to send in all his necessary documents if required in other to prove my status claim.

I respectfully request your expedience in treating this matter with utmost urgency, hence I will need the funds to continue running the family's business in our country, since we are no longer conducting business in Accra Ghana.

I will await your response towards this issue.

PHONE NUMBER: 206-202-4392
FAX NUMBER: None
HOME ADDRESS: PO Box 2938B7Q3, Box Springs, GA 31801

Kindly be informed that my late partner's fund should be transferred to the account below :

BANK NAME: 1st Bank and Trust
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 00001-5254785451-US
YOUR AGE: 39
PROFESSION: Super-Creative Song Lyric Consultant
YOUR NAME: Oliver R. Klozoff

_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Wednesday, June 3, 2009 7:56:18 AM
Subject: Re: Fill and send the application to the bank now ... Mr Frank Lekeleke

Dear Mr. Ukelele,

I just wanted to keep you in the loop. I just sent the bank application to the e-mail address you supplied.

I appreciate all that you and your partner are doing for me to help get this money transferred. Do you happen to know how long this entire transaction will take?

I only ask because I am EXTREMELY busy right now and I only see myself getting super-busy! You see, I help musicians name their songs and right now the music "biz" is going GANGBUSTERS!!! You see, I listen to songs and come up with titles that people will remember. Sometimes, I will listen to the lyrics the artist has created and I'll change them (just a little) to make the song more "sellable".

I was working with Justin last week (he is working on a new song - don't tell anybody). He wanted to call it "Starfish and Peanut Butter". Once I heard it, the song just "sang" to me. I just KNEW it needed to be called "My Watch Tell Time". Do you LOVE it?!? I can tell you LOVE it!!! I made a cool $500,000 on that single song!!!

Anyway, let me know how long because things are heating up right now Babe.

Peace,

Oliver
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com

_________________________________________

Author note: The "bank" attached a scanned image of this document. Notice how official it looks.

Click for the Official Questionnaire
_________________________________________

From: Metropolitan & Allied Bank
To: Oliver Klozoff
Sent: Wednesday, June 3, 2009 8:18:19 AM
Subject: MAB QUESTIONNAIRE

DEAR SIR

WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR TENDERED APPLICATION.

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO GO THROUGH THE ATTACHED QUESTIONNAIRE AND PROVIDE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS TO ASCERTAIN YOUR STATUS OF CLAIM AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED.

THANKS.

MANAGEMENT

_________________________________________

Author note: He called me!!! Click here to hear his message.
_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Wednesday, June 3, 2009 6:22:21 PM
Subject: Bank Questionnaire...

Dear Mr. Ukelele,

I got your voicemail today. You have a GREAT voice for Rock and Roll. Have you given it any thought? You should. I can make you rich baby!!!! Anyway, I received a questionnaire from the Metropolitan and Allied Bank. They have informed me that I am to answer some questions and get back to them.

I have NONE of the answers to these questions, so you are going to have to bail me out.

I really want the $7,000,000 dollars, so I really don't want to mess anything up. Believe me when I tell you I have seen a lot of Music Consultants like me lose a gig because they didn't cross the I's and dot the T's. You know what I mean Babe!?!

Today I met with Britney and she was saying "Hey, I need a song that will make people PASS OUT!" I said "Baby, you came to the RIGHT place because Captain Awesome is here!!!". She has a song she wanted to call "Man Sausage". I liked the vibe, but I knew that many people wouldn't understand what she was talking about. Plus, it didn't have SPANKERIFICKNESS. You know?!? So, I'm working on another title for her.

She's very excited. So am I.

Anyway, here are the questions I need answered by you and your associate:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. State the full of name the deceased as stated in bank account file.
2. State the nationality of the deceased as stated in the bank account file.
3. State the Release Code issued to the late Depositer.
4. State the date of deposit.
5. State the deceased "Kin" as stated in the deposit file. (I got this, because he didn't have anything)
6. Outline the deceased account number and type of account.
7. State clearly the secret question as stated in the deposit file.
8. State clearly the secret answer as stated in the deposit file.

You get me the answers and we will be ROCKIN' AND ROLLIN'!!!

Get back to me babe.

Peace out,

Oliver
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com

_________________________________________

From: Mr Frank Lekeleke
To: Oliver Klozoff
Sent: Thursday, June 4, 2009 4:07:38 AM
Subject: Send the Answers to the Bank now

Dear Oliver,

Thanks for your mail, am so excited i want you to check your email from time to time and please the Bank must not find out that am the one assisting you otherwise they will cancel the transaction.

Below are the answers to the questions. Please send the answers to the bank:

1, Mr.David De Gersem

2, United States of America

3, 23xx4sdf

4, March 6th 1994

5, None

6, Account number:6457128429.He was operating a fixed deposit domiciliary
account.

7, Mother maiden Name

8, Dorothy

Regards
Fank Lekeleke

_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Thursday, June 4, 2009 8:32:25 AM
Subject: Re: Send the Answers to the Bank now

Mr. Ukelele,

Thanks for getting back to me so quickly!! Babe, I wish my music artists were as quick as you!!! One time, Christina took 3 months to get her "tape" to me. I was so mad at her I intentionally waited 3 weeks to even listen to it!!

I'll shoot these answers to the bank as soon as possible!

Don't worry about me mentioning your name. "Mum's" the word. ha ha.

Peace In,

Oliver
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com


_________________________________________

Author note: Notice how I did not put in the correct Release code. If this had been a real bank, someone would have caught this and blown a gasket.
_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Metropolitan & Allied Bank
Sent: Thursday, June 4, 2009 10:58:59 AM
Subject: Re: MAB QUESTIONNAIRE

Dear Manager of Management,

I received your questionnaire in good faith and have compiled the answers you need to continue the processing.

1. State the full of name the deceased as stated in bank account file.
Answer: Mr. David De Germs

2. State the nationality of the deceased as stated in the bank account file.
Answer: United States of America

3. State the Release Code issued to the late Depositor.
Answer: 23x4sdf

4. State the date of deposit.
Answer: March 6th, 1944

5. State the deceased "Kin" as stated in the deposit file.
Answer: None

6. Outline the deceased account number and type of account.
Answer: 6457128429
He was operating a fixed deposit domiciliary account.

7. State clearly the secret question as stated in the deposit file.
Answer: Mother's Maiden Name?

8. State clearly the secret answer as stated in the deposit file.
Answer: Dorothy

Please let me know what needs to be done to get this party started!!!

Sincerely,

Oliver Klozoff
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com

_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Thursday, June 4, 2009 11:08:33 AM
Subject: Re: Send the Answers to the Bank now

Dear Mr. Ukelele,

I just wanted to let you know that I have sent the information to the Metropolitan and Allied Bank.

Man, they sure are thorough. That gives me a REALLY good feeling about this. I mean, if a bank is going to make a person go through all of that, then they must really be good!!

Anyway, I have to go. I have a meeting with Mandy about a new song she's working on. She wants to call it "Love Dog", but after I heard it last night, I KNOW it needs to be called "I'll Spank a Dog for Your Love"!!!

You LOVE it?!?

I LOVE it!!!

You gotta LOVE it babe!!!

When this one goes platinum, she'll be ALL over TV with me. We'll be talking everywhere! It'll be Mandy with Oliver Klozoff!!! Yeah Baby!!!!

Anyway, gotta run.

Peace Over,

Oliver
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com


_________________________________________

Author note: I have officially been approved!!! This bank ROCKS!!!

Click to view the Verification Document
_________________________________________

From: Metropolitan & Allied Bank
To: Oliver Klozoff
Sent: Friday, June 5, 2009 5:28:07 AM
Subject: OFFICIAL NOTICE

DEAR SIR,

PLEASE SEE DOCUMENT AS ATTACHED.

THANKS.

MANAGEMENT

_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Friday, June 5, 2009 6:19:11 PM
Subject: Received verification from the bank

Dear Mr. Ukelele,

Today at 5:28am I received an "Official Notice" from the Metropolitan and Allied Bank.

It appears that all of the questions were answered correctly and they have approved me to be the "Official" Next-of-kin. I cannot tell you how relieved I am to hear this.

Anyway, they are asking for all kinds of legal stuff that has completely bored me. I started reading this document form the bank and actually fell asleep. I woke up and couldn't remember where I was (that happens to me when I'm REALLY bored).

So, I woke up from my legal-document-induced nap and was really hungry. I mean REALLY hungry!! So, do you know what I did? I fixed myself a Hot Pocket.

These things are crazy-good, but I always have trouble cooking them (I messed up 2 of them before I got one right). I mean, you try to follow the instructions and BAM one blows up in the microwave! So, you adjust the time and BAM, now it's WAY overcooked and it's a Hot Pocket Brick!

Then you find the "sweet-spot" and that baby is a perfectly cooked. A hot, crusty, molten-on-inside, pocket of goodness and delight.

So, I get my Hot Pocket cooked and ready to eat and I said to myself "Oliver, what would be the perfect drink?" So, I said "Well, Oliver, I would suggest a large glass of your WORLD-FAMOUS GRAPE KOOL-AID (with ice)". At which point I said "Oh Yeah!!!" using my best Kool-Aid monster voice. I make it special by adding an extra scoop of the powder so it's SUPER-GRAPEY!!!

Please don't tell anyone because I don't want my Kool-Aid recipe stolen.

Anyway, the bank wants a scanned copy of the Certificate of Deposit issued to the late Depositor on the day of deposit. I don't have this thing and I gotta tell you, this is getting REALLY involved.

Are you sure everything is going to be OK?

Let me know soon, because I have a flight to Los Angeles Sunday and would like to make sure everything is cool before I go.

Peace Into,

Oliver

_________________________________________

Author note: I LOVED this. He sends me a certificate of deposit. The only problem is that I've seen better certificates created by my kids using Microsoft Word templates.

Click to view the Certificate
_________________________________________

From: Mr Frank Lekeleke
To: Oliver Klozoff
Sent: Saturday, June 6, 2009 5:30:15 AM
Subject: Send the Certificate to the Bank now

Dear Oliver,

Thanks for your mail. I want you to know that we are making progress. The bank has asked for the certificate of deposit issued to the late depositor and also, a scanned copy of your passport or drivers license.

Attached is the scanned copy of the certificate of deposit. Please send it to the bank along with a scanned copy of your passport or drivers license.

We are making progress and i believe that we will make it, please send me a copy as well so that i can monitor it from my own end as well.

Please i need for you to give me your direct phone number so that i call you at anytime because the one you gave me you are almost never there whenever i call.

Frank

_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Saturday, June 6, 2009 8:34:06 AM
Subject: Re: Send the Certificate to the Bank now

Dear Mr. Ukelele,

Thanks for the message. I don't have a lot of time right now, so I'll make this brief.

I just found out that Ms. Eliott doesn't like green M&M's in plastic bowls and is having a complete meltdown because she found the bowl that we were using to sort out the ones she doesn't like. She's stomping around throwing M&M's at EVERYTHING!!

Oh MAN!!! She just emptied a 2 pound bag over my assistants head!!!

To make matters even worst, I just got about Mr. Matthews and his gig tonight. You see, he is superstitious about brass doorknobs. He believes that if he touches a brass doorknob, it will cause him to play his guitar and all of his songs backwards. Well, the building he is "playing" in tonight is old and all of the doorknobs are made of BRASS!!!

My assistant called and told me he is sobbing in a corner clutching his guitar and is absolutely inconsolable!

I will send the certificate and a scanned copy of my driver's license to the bank as soon as I have time.

I have given you my direct line. As you can plainly see, I am terribly busy with my "peeps" right now. I feel like a fire fighter because I'm putting out "fires" left and right. I'm sure you understand.

Peace Into and Over,

Oliver
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com


_________________________________________

Author note: I took a Windows system file, changed the name and extension and sent it to them. I'm pretty sure any graphics application will be able to open it...not!
_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Metropolitan & Allied Bank
Sent: Saturday, June 6, 2009 8:43:05 AM
Subject: Re: OFFICIAL NOTICE

Dear Mr. Manager of Management,

Thank you for your detailed message regarding the attachment and all of the steps required to handle this transaction.

I can tell that your attention to detail is unmatched by all.

I have attached a copy of my United States driver's license and a copy of the "Certificate of Deposit". I'm sure that there is no doubt that I am related to Mr. De Germs and that everything is in order.

Please let me know if you require any other help from me.

Sincerely,

Mr. Oliver Klozoff
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com


_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Saturday, June 6, 2009 8:44:16 AM
Subject: Bank stuff

Yo Mr. Ukelele,

I just sent the documents to the bank.

Just keeping you in the loop.

Call me babe!

Big O

_________________________________________

From: Mr Frank Lekeleke
To: oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com
Sent: Saturday, June 6, 2009 11:24:17 AM
Subject: Rv: Bank stuff

Dear Oliver,

Thank you for your email, please please forward me a copy of whatever you send to the Bank so that i can monitor it from my own end and follow up.

Waiting to hear from you soon.

Frank


_________________________________________

Author note: I figure this knucklehead isn't working alone and they are telling him that the files I am sending won't open.
_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Sunday, June 7, 2009 8:08:09 PM
Subject: Re: Rv: Bank stuff

Dear Frankie,

Here's the stuff I sent to the bank. Please make sure you keep this information in a safe place.

You said that if anyone finds out, the deal is sunk!!!

I'm counting on you.

Your friend,

Oliver
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com

_________________________________________

From: Mr Frank Lekeleke
To: Oliver Klozoff
Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 4:22:54 AM
Subject: Hello Oliver

Dear Oliver,

Thank you for your mail, i hope you had a great weekend? please forgive me for sending the mails too many times, Please i want you to know that the i.d you sent to me did not open so i need you resend it with the jpeg download because if up till now you are yet to hear from the Bank that means they are on able to verify your id.

So please resned it to the Bank and also send me a copy and you have nothing to worry about your informations are safe with me, please i need you to move fast because my colleague informs me that the is about to approve you as next of kin soon as they complete verification.

Waiting to hear from you soon.

Thomas


_________________________________________

Author note: That was a nice message. I wonder if he'll keep his cool if I keep sending him junk? I really want to get to the part where I make them go to the Moneygram office multiple times. I figure telling them that I am going to go on a business trip might get them to forget the scanned ID.
_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Metropolitan & Allied Bank
Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 8:38:22 AM
Subject: Re: OFFICIAL NOTICE

Dear Mr. Manager of all Bank Management Details,

I received word (from someone who does NOT work at your bank), that there are some issues concerning my scanned, United States driver's license. He (who shall remain nameless) said that it cannot be viewed.

Since, I have just received word of this by him and not you (who manages everything at the bank), I have taken it upon myself to send you another copy. I have also included a scanned image of my Social Security card so you will be able to verify that I am who I say I am.

Please be alerted that I need this transaction to complete as quickly as possible because I am scheduled to fly to St. Lucia this coming Thursday (June 11, 2009). Once I leave, I will have very little time to answer e-mail.

If, however, this transaction does take more time, I may inform my assistant and ask her to help me.

Sincerely,

Mr. Oliver Klozoff
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com

_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 8:38:55 AM
Subject: Re: Hello Oliver

Dear Mr. Ukelele,

I don't have any idea why you are having so much trouble with my scanned image. I just checked and it opened perfectly in my Windows Photo Gallery. I'm wearing my best Armani suit, my hair was just cut and I just had my teeth whitened. In short, I looked FABULOUS!!!

Here's another copy of my license. Please tell your colleague that I am ready to roll, but I just received word that I have to fly to St. Lucia on Thursday to work with Tori on a new album (she's 'thinks' she's going to call it "Cat's Have Whiskers"...ugh). Once I leave I will be CRAZY-BUSY.

Don't let anyone get this copy, because I have included a scan of my Social Security card too, just so they will know it's me.

Take Luck,

Oliver
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com


_________________________________________

From: Metropolitan & Allied Bank
To: Oliver Klozoff
Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 8:54:55 AM
Subject: Re: OFFICIAL NOTICE

DEAR SIR,

WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL.

WE WISH TO INFORM YOU THAT THE DOCUMENT YOU SENT CANNOT BE VIEWED. WE ADVISE THAT YOU SCAN THE DOCUMENT AND SEND IT VIA EMAIL ATTACHMENT.

THANKS.

MANAGEMENT


_________________________________________

Author note: I think maybe a strong offense might grease the wheels
_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 10:20:46 AM
Subject: Your Bank!!!

Dear Mr. Ukelele,

What is going on with your bank!?! I've sent 2 different scanned images of my driver's license and I even included my Social Security card for verification on the second!

I am a VERY busy man...wait a second...phone...

Thanks. You see!?! I get calls almost every minute of every day of every week!!!

I will scan my driver's license ONE MORE TIME. If the bank cannot open it or does not want to consider me Mr. DeGerms next-of-kin, then I will consider the deal done and move on with my life. I almost lost a second gig with Justin yesterday because of the time I've spent trying to make your bank happy!

I'll have everything scanned and sent as soon as possible, but...wait one...phone again...sorry...

WOW!!! I'm NOT EVEN going to tell you who that was!!! This is the deal I have been working on for over 6 months BABY!!! Mr. Hammer is talking about a comeback tour and album!!! If that flies, I'm living large baby!!! He wants me to help him design his new costumes AND help with lyrics and titles!!

Anyway, I'll send you my final stuff. Please tell your associate that I am at the end of my rope! I have set aside $40,000 to cover any legal fees and stuff, but they better get on the ball...fast!!!

Sincerely,

Oliver
Big-Time Music Consultant
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com


_________________________________________

Author note: This guy really wants to talk to me. I have never had a scammer who is as chatty as this guy.
_________________________________________

From: Mr Frank Lekeleke
To: Oliver Klozoff
Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 10:31:37 AM
Subject: Re: Your Bank!!!

Dear Oliver,

Thank you for your mail, i am sorry if you feel we are maikng thing difficult for you but you must understand that this is a huge sum of amount and we can not make mistakes and the Bank also will like to be very careful themselfs.

Now even the one you sent to me did not open and today alone i have called you 4 times and all i keep getting is your voice mail, now i want to talk to you so that i can have a voice to the person i am delaying with so please i beg you give a number that i can reach you on so that we can discuss how all this will pan out.

Waiting to hear from you soon.

Frank

_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 5:27:25 PM
Subject: Re: Your Bank!!!

Mr. Ukelele,

I am under a tremendous amount of pressure helping different recording studios in the Los Angeles area. Now that it's getting close to "end of school", studios are scrambing to get albums released.

You will be contacted by my personal assistant Anitta. I'm sure she can help you with anything else you might need.

She has access to all of my information and is extremely trustworthy.

Peace Over and Out,

Oliver
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com

_________________________________________

Author note: I decided to have my assistant Anitta try to contact him. I thought I could have some fun bombarding him with e-mail from 2 people at once.
_________________________________________

From: Anitta Mann
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Monday, June 8, 2009 5:29:08 PM
Subject: Allow me to introduce myself...

Dear Mr. Ukelele,

My name is Anitta. I am the personal assistant to Mr. Oliver Klozoff. He has asked me to contact you regarding a "business transaction".

He has given me no details! He has given me no direction! He has given me no bonus for the past 2 years!

The only thing he did mention is that there is a problem with a scanned copy of his driver's license and social security card. I told him that he should never send his social security card because people have had their identities stolen.

He simply said that I am to work with you because he has been sent to Hawaii to meet with a particular Country Music artist who is experiencing "night sweats" due to the fact that he cannot figure out how to incorporate an accordion with his banjo. It's all very complicated.

Please let me know how I can assist you?

Sincerely,

Anitta A. Mann
Professional Personal Assistant to Mr. Oliver Klozoff
anitta.mann@yahoo.com

Phone: 206-350-4117

_________________________________________

Author note: I don't think it's working...
_________________________________________

From: Anitta Mann
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Tuesday, June 9, 2009 3:29:02 PM
Subject: Did you receive my message?

Dear Mr. Ukelele,

Mr. Klozoff told me that you have been rather hostile towards him recently.

I was hoping that your anger towards him would not be directed at me, but the fact that you have not contacted me tells me otherwise.

If you are indeed managing a business transaction with my supervisor, I would appreciate a response to this message.

Good day,

Ms. Anitta A. Mann
Professional Personal Assistant to Mr. Oliver Klozoff
anitta.mann@yahoo.com

Phone: 206-350-4117

_________________________________________

Author note: I'm going to have Oliver contact him one more time. I thought I would tell him that HE isn't taking this seriously. Sometimes, that really fires them up. If it doesn't work, I will consider this one dead.
_________________________________________

From: Oliver Klozoff
To: Mr Frank Lekeleke
Sent: Wednesday, June 10, 2009 10:45:33 AM
Subject: Do you want this transaction or not!?!

Mr. Ukelele,

I was just contacted by my assistant Anitta and she has informed me that you have not had the decency of contacting her.

Do you want this transaction to finish or not!?! I have the feeling that you are not taking this process seriously!

Please give me a call immediately. If I cannot pick up the phone, then leave a message. I will get back to you!

Sincerely,

Oliver Klozoff
Ultra-Music Consultant
oliverrklozoff@yahoo.com

_________________________________________

I'm sorry to say that Mr. Ukelele has cut me off. Please wait while I wipe the lone tear from my cheek.



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