Erick the Scammer

This was my first 419 scam and as you will see, I did not handle it as well as I should.  I have found that you have to let them bite and then you start giving them more personal information.  Well, it was still fun.  I only wish that it could have lasted longer.  I was going to have one of my characters really start trouble.

This was when I also decided to create a new e-mail account that does not give away any personal information.  I mean, they don't.  Why should I?

The background:

Scammer:  Erick Westwood from the UK 

Fake Barrister:  James Peters

Me:  Mr. Hugh G. Reckshun

Here is my story...

----------------------------------------------------

From: Erick Westwood

Date: Fri, Apr 10, 2009 at 2:05 AM

Subject: Treat as Confidential

Dear Sir/Madam ,

My name is Mr.Erick Westwood, I am the Auditing and Accounting Manager of HALIFAX BANK PLC UK. I write you this proposal in good faith, believing that Ican trust you with the information I am about  to reveal to you. I use to head the Accounts department in my banks head office, but last December I was asked to resume position as the branch

Manager in Great Winchester St, London, PO Box 548 Leeds LS1 1WU, so that was how I became the present Manager and discovered a fortune.  As I resumed duty, I discovered an account with total sum of £10,538,000:00 (TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTY EIGHT THOUSAND BRITISH POUNDS) that has not been operated on for the past 8 years now. From my investigation today, I have found out that this account belongs to one Late Mr Morris Thompson, an American great industrialist and a resident of Alaska, who unfortunately lost his life in the plane crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed on January 31 2000, including his wife and only daughter.You shall read more news about the crash on visiting this site which I got during my investigation; http://archives.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list

This account is in dormant account in my bank here and no other person knows about this account or any thing concerning it, I have kept a close monitoring of the account, and since then nobody has come forward to ask about the money as next of kin to the late Morris Thompson, meaning that no one is aware of the account.  I cannot directly take out this money without the help of a foreigner and that is why I am contacting you for an assistance to claim the funds and share it with me.

As the Manager of my banks  branch, I have the power to influence the release of the funds to any foreigner that comes up as the next of kin to the account,with the correct information concerning the account, which I shall give you immediately i received your contact information, such as:

1) Your Name:......................................

2) Your Address:.................................

3) Your Phone Number:......................

4) Your Occupation and Age:..............

I am seeking your co-operation to present you as the next of kin to the account, so that my bank head quarters will release the funds to us. There is practically no risk involved, the transaction will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of law.

Please contact me immediately with your private telephone number so we can go over the details and Please do not expose this deal if you are not interested,because if you do, it will take me out of seat.

Tel: +442070602892

Fax: +442070602891

Email: e_westwooduk@live.com

And for your interest to do this business with me, kindly reply ASAP.

Regards,

Mr. Erick Westwood.

_Me_________________________________

Mr. Westwood,

 

My name is Hugh and I just received your message.  Unfortunately, I am not related to Mr. Thompson, but I wish I were.  I can't tell you how much I would LOVE to be able to get some of those pounds!

 

Thanks anyway,

 

Hugh

______________________________________

from erick westwood

to "Hugh G. Reckshun"

date Wed, Apr 15, 2009 at 12:08 PM

subject Re: Treat as Confidential

mailed-by sify.com

hide details Apr 15 (8 days ago)

Reply

Dear Hugh G. Reckshun,

Thanks for your response and interest in the offer of my late customer; however, the procedure for this offer is very simple. I have gathered all the facts required for the transaction and as a professional in the field, I know all the requirements and processes but one thing is for sure "SUCCESS" is guaranteed so long as you follow my suggestion and guidelines.  After the successful transfer of these assets (Valued at 10,538,000.00 Pounds) to your account, you will be paid a professional fee of 40% of the total asset value received while I invest the other 60% in a good business under your care. I believe you are someone who is honest, trusted and committed not someone that is unreliable.

Because I have all required information and documents, once you start by writing the bank, it will take less than 10 working days to provide them with all the proof they need and have the claim approved so long as you follow my advise at all times and pass on to me all correspondence which they will give you as the beneficiary.

I will go ahead here to describe myself little to you and after this; I would give you an outline of the process and roles you and I will play. I am 46yrs of age and married with 2 children. I will in the future send you a copy of my id if you so desire, for your records. I do this so that you know that I am serious and have ties to this project and also you know whom you are dealing with. As you know, we have never met or done any transaction prior to this time and it’s not so easy starting with a transaction of such a high amount.

To our roles or commitment, it is important that you understand the fact that my relationship with you may remain open to all parties especially the bank or its accredited agents.  Once you send off the application of claim to them, you should be on standby to receive letters from them requesting data, details and proof. As soon as you

get any of this, you just pass it over to me by fax or email so that I can advise you on appropriate responses or give you crucial data/documents required by them to back up this claim. Once they are satisfied with our submissions on this claim, the assets would be approved and paid out to you through your nominated bank account or even by certified bank cheque. I need to be sure that once we are approved of the estate, you will not abscond with my share.

Most of the expenses I will bear here because there are things that need someone here to do, it will cost me to get most documents and proof we need to pass them on to you for presentation at the Bank when they require them. On your part, your role would include probably the payment of certain nominal handling charges, please be informed that

these charges comes much later in the transaction only after we have been able to provide all required proof to convince the bank and the claim is approved on your behalf.

I am happy I have explained our various roles before we start so that it will be easier for you to make a clear judgment about this. I prefer to have all facts on board before I start a task so that I can be able to make a clear judgment. I would not mind if my straight forwardness so to say discourages you from dealing with me, but I

would rather prefer being honest with whomever I consider a potential partner.

Considering your positive responses and my anticipation of a strong and solid cooperation from your side with this project, I will prepare the necessary documents and make submissions to that effect with your name as the beneficiary. This is to ensure that this is carried out in the most legal and legitimate manner to avoid any breach of the law.

In the wait for your consent to enable us start the procedures.

Warm Regards

Mr. Erick Westwood

_____________________________________

Mr. Westwood,

All I can say is Wowzer-Yippee-Pants!!!  I just got this computer a couple of weeks ago and now I get a message from you.  What are the odds of this happening?  Since you work at a bank, I bet you could figure it out since you are probably very goodly with numbers.  Please figure that out so I can tell my grandkids.  Thanks.

You make it sound SO easy.  Before I say "yes", I want to make sure I understand everything.  You said that I am going to get 40% of the 10 BILLION Pounds?!?  I don't know what that means in U.S. money, but I bet it will help me pay for my trailer!  Are you sure that I'll get the money?  I don't want to get my hopes up and then find out that its a scam or something.  If that happened, my dogs wouldn't look me in the eye ever again.

You are 46 years old and married?  I'm 24 years old, but I'm very tall for my age.  How long have you been married?  I've only been married for a little over 2 years.  My wife, Iona, is a wonderful woman, but she is missing her right thumb.  It was kind-of weird when we were dating because she could only open doors with her left hand.  If she tried to grab a door knob with her right hand, it would just slide right off.  Sad really.  But, don't feel sorry for her!  She can do some CRAZY stuff with the rest of her fingers.  I'll tell you about that when we become closer friends.  I'm so glad you are going to be my friend.  I don't have very many friends.  That is why I like my computer so much.  I am meeting new friends all the time.  I'm very popular now.  Of course you knew that since you contacted me out of all of the people on the internets.

Anyway, let me know that I'm definitely going to get the pounds (and don't forget to figure out the odds of picking me out of all of the other people).  Oh, will you convert the pounds into U.S. money for me?  I hope so.  I can't tell you how happy I am that we are now going to be friends who are RICH!!!  I will definitely buy you dinner at Red Lobster when you come to the U.S. to convert the money for me.

Say hi to the Queen,

Hugh

_____________________________________

_____________________________________

Author Note:

It was at this point that I was contacted by Mr. Westwoods legal councelor Mr. James Peters. He included an attached document which contained a scanned signature for someone named Antonio.  

 Anyway, here is what he has to say...

_____________________________________

_____________________________________

from James Peters

to hughgreckshun03@gmail.com

date Sat, Apr 18, 2009 at 5:04 AM

subject AGREEMENT LETTER BETWEEN Mr. Erick Westwood AND Mr.Hugh G. Reckshun

mailed-by gmail.com

hide details Apr 18 (5 days ago) 

Reply

Dear Hugh G. Reckshun,

I am Barrister James Peters, legal representative to Mr. Erick Westwood. My client Mr. Westwood informed me of a transaction between the both of you, and asked that i prepare an agreement letter in respect to that, which you will have to sign and return back to me. this agreement binds this transaction until the completion.

Attached in this mail is an agreement letter, print, sign, scan and return back to me for reference /record purpose.

Sincerely

Barrister James Peters.

______________________________________

Your Honorable Barrister Peters,

My name is Hugh G. Reckshun.  I am the new friend of Erick Westwood.  He has told me how rich we are going to be after he sends some pounds to me.  I told my wife Iona and she is so happy she's about to pop her other thumb (you can ask Erick about that).

I received your message about a letter, but I cannot see the letter.  I want to see the letter, but the letter won't do anything.  Can you send me another letter?  Thanks.  Oh, you said that you want me to scan the letter.  Can you tell me how to scan it?  Do you mean you want me to read it real fast?  I just don't want to mess anything up.

I told Erick that I will take him to dinner at the Red Lobster when he comes here to change the pounds to US money.  Since you are going to be my friend too I'll take you too.  Just don't invite a bunch of friends because it will get pretty expensive.  Ha ha, can you believe that!  I'm going to be RICH and I'm worried about the cost of dinner?  What a goof!

Anyway, send me another letter and I'll read it real fast (you know...scan).

Cheerios,

Hugh

_______________________________________

Sir,

 

I received your mail,and will attach the agrrement document again.

What i mean by scanning is ,you will have to print out the document,have it signed by you,scan the document and return it back to me as an attachment in your next correspondence.Hope my explanation is clear enough.

 

James Peters.

_______________________________________

Mr. Peter,

Wow, you got back to me really fast!!!  I can't believe how professional everyone is!  Eric was right, this is going to be SUPER-EASY!  Anyway, thanks for sending me the letter.  I'm really excited about the pounds and everything.  I'm also looking forward to going to the Red Lobster with you and Eric.

I just have one problem.  I found the little paper clip that opened up the letter.  I completely freaked out!  One minute I'm reading your notes and then all of a sudden another program I never knew I had opened up this legal document!  I thought there was some lawyer inside my computer.  Lawyers really freak me out (ever since I did time) and I almost passed out.

Well, after I started breathing good again, I printed it on my color printer.  It's funny, I almost didn't buy a printer.  When I was buying my new computer, the guy at Computer Universe said that I would need a printer.  Wow was he right!  My first RICH friends send me stuff that has to be printed and stuff.  Who knew!?!  Well, I filled out the form like you said and checked all of my spelling.  Then, I scanned the document by reading it real fast like you said.  Everything is spelled perfectly by-the-way.

But, now I don't know how to attach it to my e-mail.  If I print out the e-mail I can use a stapler or paper clips.  Heck, I can even glue them together, but I can't get them back into my computer.  I guess I could fold it real small and push the paper into one of the slots on my computer.  Is that what you want me to do?

Please let me know because I want those pounds real bad!  Iona is really excited too.  We were sitting at our table eating Hungry Man Fried Chicken TV dinners tonight.  You know, the ones with the crusty mashed potatoes.  Those are my favorites (I even dip my mashed potatoes into the grease from the chicken).  Sometimes, I'll eat 3 or 4 of those bad-boys.  Of course, my tummy doesn't feel too good, but I can't stop eating them.

Anyway, Iona and I are already talking about all of the things we want to do with the pounds.  What do you call US money?  We call them DOLLARS.  So, we have our eye on some new wood paneling for our mobile home.  We're even thinking of getting the paneling that looks like bricks.  Oh, it's a little more expensive, but our picture of Elvis will look really nice on it.  Do you listen to Elvis?  Let me know.  If you don't I can get you a CD.  He's the nuts!  Don't tell anyone, but I look a little like Elvis. 

Iona is thinking of getting a prophetic thumb (I'm pretty sure that's what the doctor called it).  He said that it will look like her other, real thumb.  It won't bend or anything, but it will have an artificial fingernail that she can paint like her other fingers.  Plus, she'll be able to count to 10.  She's pretty excited.

Anyway, let me know what I'm supposed to do because we are ready to pull the trigger and get this party started.  I even talked to my friend Reggie.  He works at the bank and he wants to help out too.

Pip Pip,

Hugh

___________________________________

___________________________________

Author Note:  At this point my Nigerian banker friend stopped communicating.  I think Reggie may have scared him a little.  Since I didn't hear from him for 3 days, I decided to grease the wheels.  Here is what transpired.

___________________________________

___________________________________

Erick,

I was communicating with your barrister Peter but he won't return any e-mail to me.

I had everything ready to go, but since he won't help, I'm afraid that I am going to help someone else!  I received an e-mail from another person who works for a bank in West Africa.  I believe he is more serious about working with me and will work with him instead.

I'm sorry that we couldn't work together, but without a lawyer, I do NOT want to continue.  

My wife and I were very excited about working with you.

I'm sorry, but Peter blew it!

Hugh

___________________________________

Dear Hugh,

It has been my pleasure knowing you.Like i stated in my past mail,that i will not like a situation whereby when this posses begins you will then back out.If that is what you feel is best for you,go on and loose it. I offered you an opportunity and all you did was to blow it up,putting the blame on my attorney.For your information,i am aware of

your refusal on signing the agreement.You ant to abscond with all the money right? I thought i could trust you.Anyway,have a nice time.

Erick

___________________________________

Eric,

I have told you several times how excited Iona and I are about getting pounded by you!  I also told you how we are ready to go.  I consider you to be my richest, newest, bestest friend on the internets.  But, I don't like Peter!  He wouldn't return my e-mails and I think he's trying to get the pounds for himself.

I'm pretty sure I have told both of you that I have my new computer.  I bought it with my own money and everything.  I even have a printer.  I've never had a computer before.  Mine is really shiny and even has a place for me to plug in headphones so I can listen to music.  Did I mention that it has speakers too?  Just so you know, I will tell you everything I have so you know I'm serious about my computer!  I have a computer (you knew that), monitor (it's like a TV), keyboard, mouse (that makes me laugh), speakers, and a printer.  My printer is color and everything.  I print out pictures from the internets I like.

I received a letter from Peter.  I HAVE FILLED IT OUT AND SIGNED IT!!!!  Peter keeps telling me to SCAN this letter, but he won't tell me HOW!!!!  I keep reading the letter over and over faster and faster and have even told him that I can fold it real small and put it INSIDE my computer.  Well, THAT isn't good enough for Peter!  Are you sure he's trustworthy?  Does he really know how to use a computer?  I'm not so sure.

Maybe you can tell me how you want me to SCAN this letter?  Don't tell Peter though.  I think he's a crook!  I even told my friend Reggie about him and he thinks he's a poopy-head too.  

Reggie polishes the windows at my bank.  He's taking night classes to become the official "Change Sorting Administrator".  His job will be to separate all of the pennies, nickles, dimes, and quarters into separate piles.  He will even have to sort out any canadian money.  That's pretty hard too because the money looks pretty similar.  He said that he will even get to write nasty letters to Canada telling them to keep their money on their side of the border.  He's not sure what he'll have to do with the piles but it's definitely going to be cool.

He can't wait.

PLEASE let me know how to scan the letter!!  Iona really wants to get her prophetic thumb!!!!!

Your newest, soon-to-be-rich-with-you friend,

Hugh

____________________________________

Like I said, this was a dissappointment.  I truly wanted it to go on for a little longer.  I can see now that my biggest mistake was not sending the form back "scanned".  But, I still ate up some of his time.

Tim Clen and My eMac

I placed an add for my computer on Craigslist.  It took about 2 hours before the Nigerian scammers found out and started e-mailing me offering me WAY more than I had originally asked.  This immediately raised a red flag because people do not go to Craigslist looking to pay MORE.  We are all looking for a deal.

I sent my blanket message back telling him how I do business, but he persisted.  So, instead of getting mad, I decided to have some fun.  I highly recommend doing this.  It is a LOT of fun!

The background:

A person named Tim or Jeff (I'm not sure because he used one name in the messages, but the e-mail had something else.)

The item being sold: An Apple eMac

Here is my story...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Thu, Mar 19, 2009 at 9:43 PM, tim clen

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY

** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home

** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping

** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

i am interested in your item as a birthday gift for a pen pal in west Africa,i want you to know that i would be paying the sum of $400  with a pay pal cos it is the safest way that would include shipping.i would like you to send through USPS Express Mail International,if you are interested pls get back to me with a money request from your pay pal account to jeff_clen@yahoo.com

--From me------------------------------

Jeff,

Thanks for your interest in the computer.  I will be more than happy to accept $400 dollars for the machine.  However, I only do transactions face-to-face.  I'm sure you will be able to manage the shipping once the transaction is complete.

Thanks,

Tim

--My Nigerian Friend----------------------------

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR MAIL AND I AM SO PLEASED TO READ BACK FORM YOU

BUT I DO WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET THAT SEND MY SELF BUT

WHY I CANT GET THAT DONE IS THAT I AM OUT OF THE STATE THAT'S WHY OK

SO PLS DO GET BACK TO ME WITH YOUR PAY PAL MONEY REQUEST SO I CAN MAKE

THE PAYMENT IF YOU ARE STILL WILLING TO SELL OK

I WAIT TO HERE FROM YOU SOON

--Me----------------------------

Date: Friday, March 20, 2009, 9:44 PM

Jeff,

Oh, now I understand.  Well, then I will be more than happy to handle the shipping for you.  I am busy tomorrow, but I would be happy to meet you Sunday.  Perhaps we can find a central location to meet.

I look forward to meeting you.

Tim

--My Nigerian Friend----------------------------

On Sat, Mar 21, 2009 at 11:47 AM, tim clen

hi there thanks so much for the reply i realy appreciate it but i want you to know that i'm in mexico on vacation and my penpals birthday is fast approaching so why dont you just create an account via www.paypal.com and send me the money request and i'll transfer the funds as soon as i get the request ok

--Me--------------------------------------------

Date: Saturday, March 21, 2009, 10:05 PM

Jeff,

Wow!  Mexico.  That sounds great.  I've had a number of great vacation in Mexico..  Where are you staying?  I've been all over.  I may be able to give you some pointers.

Oh, before I forget, can you get me your penpal's address?  I want to make sure I know how much it will cost to ship the computer.  I would hate for you to pay WAY too much on the shipping.

While I'm waiting, I'll check that PenPal site you mentioned.  Maybe I can get a penpal too.  Heck, maybe you will be my new penpal.  I already have your e-mail address.

Take care my friend,

Tim

--My Nigerian Friend----------------------------

On Sun, Mar 22, 2009 at 8:38 AM, tim clen

Thanks for the reply here is the address below,i'll be expecting you to send

the money request ,as soon as i get the request i'l transfer the money ok

NAME...................TUNDE OTULE

ADDRESS..................11OGUNMUYIWA STREET ITIRE IJESHA

CITY..............................SURULERE

STATE..............................LAGOS

COUNTRY.............................NIGERIA

ZIPCODE................................+23401

--Me-(I found an address about 150 miles from the one he gave me)-----------------

Jeff,

Now that we are pen pals, do you really want me to go www.penpal.com?  I went to the website like you said and there was a picture of a pretty girl on the page.  I wanted to set up an account, but I'm not  sure if you want me to be a Christian single or a single parent pen pal.  Hey, do you think that pretty girl will be my pen pal?  I hope so.

 

Oh, by the way, I was looking at your name and saw that the email address has the name Jeff.  Should I call you Tim or Jeff?  I just  don't want to mess up your name.  I hate it when people mess up my  name.  Sometimes they call me Tim.  But, sometimes they call me Time.  Can you believe that?  How hard is it to figure out my name?  I'm sure you get the same stuff.  And, since we are now pen pals, I want to make sure I have your name right.

 

You never told me where you are staying in Mexico.  I LOVE Mexico and I have some vacation time available to me and maybe I can fly out Tuesday and we can get together for a taco or burrito.  Which do you like better?  I like taco's because they are really crunchy.  I also like the taco-breath after eating them.  ha ha.

 

I was going to go to the post office tomorrow to send the computer out to the address you gave me.  But, I tried to use that new program Google Earth to find the address.  Have you heard of it.  It is really fun to watch it move to the addresses you type in.  I just laugh and laugh.  But, it couldn't find the exact location, so I'm concerned.  I found a close match and I want to make sure I have everything right, so your other pen pal gets the computer.

Tunde Otule

47 Aguiyi Ironsi Avenue

Oshogbo, Nigeria  23435

I'm sure everything is fine.  I am so happy with our new relationship, I don't want to do anything that could ruin it.

Oh, please send a picture of yourself, so I know what you look like.  I'll do the same when I get yours.

Tim

--My New Nigerian Pen Pal----------------------------

On Mon, Mar 23, 2009 at 12:03 AM, tim clen

Thanks for ur mail and do open the pay pal account and send me the money request so i can make the payment and get it sent by monday ok.I wait for ur mail soon

--Me----------------------------

Jeff,

Bad news!!!!  I went to my local post office today to send your penpal the computer.  When I gave him the address, he said that they had no record of it.  He started typing like crazy on his computer and he looked at me and told me that I was a JERK for giving him a bogus address.  He gave me another address that was close.  Here is what he gave me:

53 Aguiyi Gokkun Street

Oshogbo, Nigeria  23435

Is that the address I should send the computer?

To make matters worse he said that the shipping cost for the computer will be $355.56!  Can you believe that!?!  This means that your total cost would be $755.56.  Are you sure you still want it?

I'm not sure I feel comfortable selling you my computer for THAT much.  I value your friendship and want to make sure nothing happens that could make you angry with me.  I've never had a pen pal before and want to make sure we remain friends.  Your trust means everything to me :).

Speaking of that, I feel that you ARE getting angry with me..  I've asked you several questions and your messages have been getting shorter.  Please don't be angry with me.  My hope is that we can remain pen pal's for quite a long time.  Who would have thought that a simple Craigslist ad could help two people become such close friends.  Please tell me where you are staying in Mexico.  I don't think I can get a flight for tomorrow, but if you let me know soon, I can fly out Wednesday.  I can practically taste those crunchy taco's right now.  Of course, the burritos are good too.  I'll just make up my mind when

we get together on Wednesday.  Just don't drink the water.  Remember what they say in Mexico "Si usted lo bebe, usted va a la popa sus pantalones!".

Please let me know if the cost and address is OK.  If so, I'll be able to send it out tomorrow.  I know your penpal's birthday is coming up quick.

 

Take care,

Tim

--My Nigerian Pen Pal----------------------------

On Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 5:38 AM, tim clen

NAME - OTULE TUNDE

ADDRESS -11  OGUNMUYIWA STREET ITERE IJESHA .

CITY -SURULERE.

STATE -LAGOS

COUNTRY -NIGERIA.

ZIP CODE - +23401

HERE IS THE RIGHT ADDRESS TO SEND TO SEND IT TO .

Address is 11 not 110 ok

i wait to read from u as soon as u get it sent ok

--Me (I decided to change his name)---------------

Date: Tuesday, March 24, 2009, 10:37 PM

Tim,

I don't think I'm going to send the computer..  I don't think you like me.  I've been nice and have tried to talk to you and all you keep telling me is "SEND THE COMPUTER".

In my last message I told you how mean the post office people were.  You never said anything to make me feel better.

I've asked you where you were staying in Mexico.  I've told you that I would even fly out to meet you because I consider you my friend.

I think you like your old pen pal better than me!  I've told you that I've never had a pen pal and you won't even talk to me.

I'm not sending the computer until you treat me like a REAL pen pal!

Your hurt friend,

Tim

--My Nigerian Pen Pal----------------------------

From: tim clen

Date: Wed, Mar 25, 2009 at 10:48 AM

hi there i'm really sorry about the way i made you get mad at me i've just been really busy and that is the reason why you have not really know much about me ,the reason why i asked you to ship the item out was due to the fact that my penpal's birthday is fast approaching that was why i needed you to ship it out asap,i would realy appreciate it if you would fly donw to where,but i geuss it would better if i fly down to where you are or what do you think about that,i want you to know that you are my penpal and i would really appreciate it ie we get closwer than this so do not think that my penpal is better that you cos you seem to be a ncie person and i'll really love it if you are so close to me ,i'm in a state called Tamaulipas and the capital is Ciudad Victoria and the name of the city is Reynosa,i dont know ifyou have ever been tehre b4 ,pls do get back to me cos i realy feel bad that you are mad at me ,

reply asap,

--Me (I changed his name back)-------------------

Date: Wed, Mar 25, 2009 at 5:47 PM

To: tim clen

Jeffrey,

Thank you for responding to me.  I want you to know that I was not angry at you.  I was hurt.  I just sat in my beanbag chair and cried all night long.  I feel much better now that you have shown me how much you value me as your NEW favorite pen pal.  By the way, my birthday is May 21st.  When is your?  I can't wait to see what you are going to send me for MY birthday!!  If you will send a new computer to your old pen pal, I'll bet you'll send me a new iPod Touch! (by the way, that is what I want).

I can't believe you are in Reynosa!!!!  I LOVE Reynosa!!  I consider it my second home.  Please let me know which hotel you are staying at.  I probably know someone working there who can make your stay even better.  You know what?!?  Once I put the computer in the mail, I'm sure I can fly there and we can hang out together.  I can show you around.  If you see a little guy wearing jeans and a baseball cap, tell him I said "Hello".  He'll know it's from me.

I'm glad to know that you are willing to fly here, but I'm sure you won't be able to since you'll have to go back to work after your vacation.  What do you do?  Since you know so much about computers, I bet you are very technirific.  I just made up that word.  I do that sometimes.  Now that we are special pen pals, I can tell you that.

By the way, why are you so busy?  I thought you are in Mexico for your vacation.  I know that when I go to Mexico all I want to do is eat taco's and burrito's.  Sometimes I have nacho's and salsa but not the real hot stuff.  What do you like to eat?  I bet you like the super cheesy stuff.  I don't, but I have a friend who eats all kinds of cheese.  But, he doesn't like Mexican food.  That's why I want to fly out and spend time with you.  We can eat the taco's and burrito's together.

Oh!  I went to the post office again today.  They still said that the address you gave me does NOT exist.  They start typing on their computer like crazy and tell me that the only address they can find around there is:

53 Aguiyi Gokkun Street

Oshogbo, Nigeria  23435

Is there another address I can send the computer?  I think they are really getting mad at me and the computer is heavy.  I really want your other pen pal to get the computer from you.  Should I attach a note or anything?  I hope he isn't hurt when he finds out that I'm your new special-roni (I just made that word up too) pen pal.

Let me know about the address.

Your NEW favorite pen pal,

Tim

--My Nigerian FRIEND--------------------------

From: tim clen

Date: Thu, Mar 26, 2009 at 4:11 AM

hello

how are you doing today and i hope you fine cos i feel so great to read from you and it makes me feel great to cos all i can do is to be happy and also to make you happy always cos i was thinking i was never going to read from you and now i feel so much better with your mail 

my job is  Art Work i mean Drawing and Painting  and i feel great doing that but the reason why i was busy was just doing some little painting and when you said you wanted to be my pan pal i felt i should make you a great one hats why i was a little busy doing that for you just to make you great when we get to meet soon 

i will be willing to fly to you and make a better day cos i will love to hang out with you so i will be back before my vacation ends so when am back we could still have time to go out and have fun ok so it will be great to go out with you cos i cant just wait for that day to happen.

i am not to happy with what they said about the address cos its not my first time i wil send my pen pay some thing to that same address but here is the address once again and i will like you to  go to another post office and try with these address ok 

NAME - OTULE TUNDE

ADDRESS - 11 OGUNMUYIWA STREET ITERE,IJESHA,SURULERE LAGOS  

but i want you to know that i told my pen pal about you already and he was happy about it and said if you don't mind calling him if you can ok.  here is his number +2347031036725

so i hope to read from you my great friend 

--This was the second message in ONE day - He's a REAL friend now-----------------------

From: tim clen

Date: Thu, Mar 26, 2009 at 3:18 PM

hello 

how are you doing today and i hope you are doing great and having a great time but i am not happy cos have not read any mail form you cos you have been on my mind all day and on here waiting to read your sweet mail but i never got any but i was  thinking some thing was happening to you but i hope you are great 

so pls do get back to ma as soon as you read these so i can be happy that you are alright 

i wait to here from you soon 

--Me----------------------------

Hello Super Pen Pal,

I'm sorry my messages to you have gotten so long.  I'm just so super happyrifical that you have said that I'm your favorite pen pal.  I just know that you like to learn new things about me.  I want to know everything about you too.

You are painting a picture for me!?!  How wonderful!  I LOVE paintings.  Please, no clowns.  They creep me out.  I mean I like clowns as people, but after watching 'Poltergeist', I can't look at clowns the same way.  Don't paint any bowls of fruit either.  I like fruit, but if I want to see a bowl of fruit, I'll look at my own table.  Can you paint a picture of BURT REYNOLDS for me!?!  He was AWESOME in the movie Hooper.  I just saw that movie last week.  Now, I want to be a stunt man like Hooper.  My girlfriend thinks it's a stupid idea.  But, she doesn't understand how Hollywood works.  I'm going to call Hollywood and fill out an application.  I know I'll be greater than Hooper!  What do you think?

I wish I had a job as cool as Art work.  I work at a local pet shop called 'FluffyCat Cat Groomertorium'.  My official title is 'Feline Grooming Technician', which is just a fancy name for someone who washes cats.  It's a tough job because cats are squirmy and HATE to get wet.

Just the other day I was going to give Mipsy (the cat) a bath and she went CRAZY on me.  I turned the water on and she LOST HER FLUFFY MIND!!  She started howling and spitting.  When I picked her up, she bit my pinky finger and started climbing up my arm.  Of course I got mad because she was ripping my favorite KISS t-shirt.  When I tried to get her under control, she BIT MY EAR!!  So, now I'm REALLY mad!  This cat is screaming in my bleeding ear, my favorite KISS t-shirt is ripped to shreds and the cat is now trying to climb down my back!

I squirted her right in the face.  I hate Mipsy.

You know, I don't think I have ever shown my sensitive side to anyone before.  I've shown my dog (his name is Fartsy) how sensitive I can be, but never another human.  Most people don't talk to me.  Of course I consider Fartsy to be almost human.  He loves it when I talk to him.  I've been telling him about you and how wonderful it is to have a pen pal.  I know he knows what I'm saying because he chews on things when he understands.  Now that I think about it, he must understand everything I say because he chews on EVERYTHING.  Wow!  I have a really smart dog!  I bet I could get him on TV.

I'll check the internet to see how to do that.

Speaking of Fartsy, we have a problem :(.  He chewed a really big hole in the box the computer comes in and ate some of the styrofoam.  I can get another box for the computer, but it won't be as cool as the original.  Is that going to be a problem?

I found Fartsy lying in my beanbag chair groaning with all kinds of wet, slimy cardboard lying around him.  I started yelling, but he got upset and started running through the house and threw up all over the place.  The more I yelled, the more he ran and puked.  He finally passed out on the kitchen floor....and farted (that's why I call him Fartsy).  I just laughed and laughed after that.

I had to take him to the vet to get his stomach pumped out the rest of the way because the remaining styrofoam was plugging him up.  The whole trip cost me $110.00, but I'm not complaining.  Since you are willing to purchase my computer for more than I originally asked, the extra money will pay for the trip :).

I know you are an honest person and will pay me for the computer, but I went to www.penpal.com again like you said and still find it to be very confusing.  The girl is pretty, but I'm still not sure if I should register as a Christian Single or Single Parent.  Do you think you could send me a certified check instead?  I think that would be best.  I trust certified checks more than the internet anyway.

You truly are a wonderful person.  I cannot believe how generous you are.  I wish there were more people like you.  I can't wait for my painting and new birthday iPod :).

Let me know if you want me to get a different computer box.  Once I hear back from you, I'll go to the post office to send it out.  I wish I could call your NOT FAVORITE pen pal, but my phone was unhooked the other day.

Your favoritest pen pal,

Tim

--My Nigerian Pen Pal----------------------------

from tim clen

date Thu, Mar 26, 2009 at 6:54 PM

subject you make me happy always with your mail

mailed-by yahoo.com

you can go get it sent like that cos its no problem  with the pack ok  am waiting here to read from you se can talk much more on here ok 

--Me (I wanted to test his resolve)----------------------------

Jeff,

A weird thing happened to me today.  When I got home from my job at the FluffyCat Cat Groomertorium, there were some black cars at my house.  My girlfriend was freaking out on the front lawn talking to 8 men in suits.  She was telling them that I was stupid to talk to you.  I told her that she was jealous because I have a new pen pal and she doesn't.  She tried to get Fartsy to bite me, but he was busy chewing on a bone (I'm sure he knew everything that was happening).

They said they were from the government and were investigating your OLD pen pal Otule Tunde.  They said that my trips to the post office flagged their computer programs and they wanted to know your last name.  They wanted to know why I was trying to send my computer to your pen pal in Nigeria.  I told them I am your NEW pen pal and you don't like your old pen pal.  I told them that you were sending me a painting of Burt Reynolds.  I also told them that you were sending me a new iPod for my birthday (DON'T FORGET).

I showed them all of our e-mails and they wrote down your e-mail address.  I think they are going to e-mail you and try to be your pen pal's too.  Just remember that I am your favorite.

They told me not to send the computer right now because they have to check a few things.  I think if I go to a different post office they won't know.

What do you think?

You bestest and only pen pal,

Tim

--My Nigerian Pen Pal----------------------------

from tim clen

date Thu, Mar 27, 2009 at 6:54 PM

subject you make me happy always with your mail

mailed-by yahoo.com

you can go get it sent like that cos its no problem  with the pack ok  am waiting here to read from you se can talk much more on here ok 

--------------------------------------------------

During this time I was BCC'ing many of my friends.  I think one of them hit the Reply to All and Mr. Clen saw the message stating how stupid he was.  I never heard back from him again.