Tim Clen and My eMac

I placed an add for my computer on Craigslist.  It took about 2 hours before the Nigerian scammers found out and started e-mailing me offering me WAY more than I had originally asked.  This immediately raised a red flag because people do not go to Craigslist looking to pay MORE.  We are all looking for a deal.

I sent my blanket message back telling him how I do business, but he persisted.  So, instead of getting mad, I decided to have some fun.  I highly recommend doing this.  It is a LOT of fun!

The background:

A person named Tim or Jeff (I'm not sure because he used one name in the messages, but the e-mail had something else.)

The item being sold: An Apple eMac

Here is my story...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Thu, Mar 19, 2009 at 9:43 PM, tim clen

** CRAIGSLIST ADVISORY --- AVOID SCAMS BY DEALING LOCALLY

** Avoid: wiring money, cross-border deals, work-at-home

** Beware: cashier checks, money orders, escrow, shipping

** More Info: http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html

i am interested in your item as a birthday gift for a pen pal in west Africa,i want you to know that i would be paying the sum of $400  with a pay pal cos it is the safest way that would include shipping.i would like you to send through USPS Express Mail International,if you are interested pls get back to me with a money request from your pay pal account to jeff_clen@yahoo.com

--From me------------------------------

Jeff,

Thanks for your interest in the computer.  I will be more than happy to accept $400 dollars for the machine.  However, I only do transactions face-to-face.  I'm sure you will be able to manage the shipping once the transaction is complete.

Thanks,

Tim

--My Nigerian Friend----------------------------

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR MAIL AND I AM SO PLEASED TO READ BACK FORM YOU

BUT I DO WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET THAT SEND MY SELF BUT

WHY I CANT GET THAT DONE IS THAT I AM OUT OF THE STATE THAT'S WHY OK

SO PLS DO GET BACK TO ME WITH YOUR PAY PAL MONEY REQUEST SO I CAN MAKE

THE PAYMENT IF YOU ARE STILL WILLING TO SELL OK

I WAIT TO HERE FROM YOU SOON

--Me----------------------------

Date: Friday, March 20, 2009, 9:44 PM

Jeff,

Oh, now I understand.  Well, then I will be more than happy to handle the shipping for you.  I am busy tomorrow, but I would be happy to meet you Sunday.  Perhaps we can find a central location to meet.

I look forward to meeting you.

Tim

--My Nigerian Friend----------------------------

On Sat, Mar 21, 2009 at 11:47 AM, tim clen

hi there thanks so much for the reply i realy appreciate it but i want you to know that i'm in mexico on vacation and my penpals birthday is fast approaching so why dont you just create an account via www.paypal.com and send me the money request and i'll transfer the funds as soon as i get the request ok

--Me--------------------------------------------

Date: Saturday, March 21, 2009, 10:05 PM

Jeff,

Wow!  Mexico.  That sounds great.  I've had a number of great vacation in Mexico..  Where are you staying?  I've been all over.  I may be able to give you some pointers.

Oh, before I forget, can you get me your penpal's address?  I want to make sure I know how much it will cost to ship the computer.  I would hate for you to pay WAY too much on the shipping.

While I'm waiting, I'll check that PenPal site you mentioned.  Maybe I can get a penpal too.  Heck, maybe you will be my new penpal.  I already have your e-mail address.

Take care my friend,

Tim

--My Nigerian Friend----------------------------

On Sun, Mar 22, 2009 at 8:38 AM, tim clen

Thanks for the reply here is the address below,i'll be expecting you to send

the money request ,as soon as i get the request i'l transfer the money ok

NAME...................TUNDE OTULE

ADDRESS..................11OGUNMUYIWA STREET ITIRE IJESHA

CITY..............................SURULERE

STATE..............................LAGOS

COUNTRY.............................NIGERIA

ZIPCODE................................+23401

--Me-(I found an address about 150 miles from the one he gave me)-----------------

Jeff,

Now that we are pen pals, do you really want me to go www.penpal.com?  I went to the website like you said and there was a picture of a pretty girl on the page.  I wanted to set up an account, but I'm not  sure if you want me to be a Christian single or a single parent pen pal.  Hey, do you think that pretty girl will be my pen pal?  I hope so.

 

Oh, by the way, I was looking at your name and saw that the email address has the name Jeff.  Should I call you Tim or Jeff?  I just  don't want to mess up your name.  I hate it when people mess up my  name.  Sometimes they call me Tim.  But, sometimes they call me Time.  Can you believe that?  How hard is it to figure out my name?  I'm sure you get the same stuff.  And, since we are now pen pals, I want to make sure I have your name right.

 

You never told me where you are staying in Mexico.  I LOVE Mexico and I have some vacation time available to me and maybe I can fly out Tuesday and we can get together for a taco or burrito.  Which do you like better?  I like taco's because they are really crunchy.  I also like the taco-breath after eating them.  ha ha.

 

I was going to go to the post office tomorrow to send the computer out to the address you gave me.  But, I tried to use that new program Google Earth to find the address.  Have you heard of it.  It is really fun to watch it move to the addresses you type in.  I just laugh and laugh.  But, it couldn't find the exact location, so I'm concerned.  I found a close match and I want to make sure I have everything right, so your other pen pal gets the computer.

Tunde Otule

47 Aguiyi Ironsi Avenue

Oshogbo, Nigeria  23435

I'm sure everything is fine.  I am so happy with our new relationship, I don't want to do anything that could ruin it.

Oh, please send a picture of yourself, so I know what you look like.  I'll do the same when I get yours.

Tim

--My New Nigerian Pen Pal----------------------------

On Mon, Mar 23, 2009 at 12:03 AM, tim clen

Thanks for ur mail and do open the pay pal account and send me the money request so i can make the payment and get it sent by monday ok.I wait for ur mail soon

--Me----------------------------

Jeff,

Bad news!!!!  I went to my local post office today to send your penpal the computer.  When I gave him the address, he said that they had no record of it.  He started typing like crazy on his computer and he looked at me and told me that I was a JERK for giving him a bogus address.  He gave me another address that was close.  Here is what he gave me:

53 Aguiyi Gokkun Street

Oshogbo, Nigeria  23435

Is that the address I should send the computer?

To make matters worse he said that the shipping cost for the computer will be $355.56!  Can you believe that!?!  This means that your total cost would be $755.56.  Are you sure you still want it?

I'm not sure I feel comfortable selling you my computer for THAT much.  I value your friendship and want to make sure nothing happens that could make you angry with me.  I've never had a pen pal before and want to make sure we remain friends.  Your trust means everything to me :).

Speaking of that, I feel that you ARE getting angry with me..  I've asked you several questions and your messages have been getting shorter.  Please don't be angry with me.  My hope is that we can remain pen pal's for quite a long time.  Who would have thought that a simple Craigslist ad could help two people become such close friends.  Please tell me where you are staying in Mexico.  I don't think I can get a flight for tomorrow, but if you let me know soon, I can fly out Wednesday.  I can practically taste those crunchy taco's right now.  Of course, the burritos are good too.  I'll just make up my mind when

we get together on Wednesday.  Just don't drink the water.  Remember what they say in Mexico "Si usted lo bebe, usted va a la popa sus pantalones!".

Please let me know if the cost and address is OK.  If so, I'll be able to send it out tomorrow.  I know your penpal's birthday is coming up quick.

 

Take care,

Tim

--My Nigerian Pen Pal----------------------------

On Tue, Mar 24, 2009 at 5:38 AM, tim clen

NAME - OTULE TUNDE

ADDRESS -11  OGUNMUYIWA STREET ITERE IJESHA .

CITY -SURULERE.

STATE -LAGOS

COUNTRY -NIGERIA.

ZIP CODE - +23401

HERE IS THE RIGHT ADDRESS TO SEND TO SEND IT TO .

Address is 11 not 110 ok

i wait to read from u as soon as u get it sent ok

--Me (I decided to change his name)---------------

Date: Tuesday, March 24, 2009, 10:37 PM

Tim,

I don't think I'm going to send the computer..  I don't think you like me.  I've been nice and have tried to talk to you and all you keep telling me is "SEND THE COMPUTER".

In my last message I told you how mean the post office people were.  You never said anything to make me feel better.

I've asked you where you were staying in Mexico.  I've told you that I would even fly out to meet you because I consider you my friend.

I think you like your old pen pal better than me!  I've told you that I've never had a pen pal and you won't even talk to me.

I'm not sending the computer until you treat me like a REAL pen pal!

Your hurt friend,

Tim

--My Nigerian Pen Pal----------------------------

From: tim clen

Date: Wed, Mar 25, 2009 at 10:48 AM

hi there i'm really sorry about the way i made you get mad at me i've just been really busy and that is the reason why you have not really know much about me ,the reason why i asked you to ship the item out was due to the fact that my penpal's birthday is fast approaching that was why i needed you to ship it out asap,i would realy appreciate it if you would fly donw to where,but i geuss it would better if i fly down to where you are or what do you think about that,i want you to know that you are my penpal and i would really appreciate it ie we get closwer than this so do not think that my penpal is better that you cos you seem to be a ncie person and i'll really love it if you are so close to me ,i'm in a state called Tamaulipas and the capital is Ciudad Victoria and the name of the city is Reynosa,i dont know ifyou have ever been tehre b4 ,pls do get back to me cos i realy feel bad that you are mad at me ,

reply asap,

--Me (I changed his name back)-------------------

Date: Wed, Mar 25, 2009 at 5:47 PM

To: tim clen

Jeffrey,

Thank you for responding to me.  I want you to know that I was not angry at you.  I was hurt.  I just sat in my beanbag chair and cried all night long.  I feel much better now that you have shown me how much you value me as your NEW favorite pen pal.  By the way, my birthday is May 21st.  When is your?  I can't wait to see what you are going to send me for MY birthday!!  If you will send a new computer to your old pen pal, I'll bet you'll send me a new iPod Touch! (by the way, that is what I want).

I can't believe you are in Reynosa!!!!  I LOVE Reynosa!!  I consider it my second home.  Please let me know which hotel you are staying at.  I probably know someone working there who can make your stay even better.  You know what?!?  Once I put the computer in the mail, I'm sure I can fly there and we can hang out together.  I can show you around.  If you see a little guy wearing jeans and a baseball cap, tell him I said "Hello".  He'll know it's from me.

I'm glad to know that you are willing to fly here, but I'm sure you won't be able to since you'll have to go back to work after your vacation.  What do you do?  Since you know so much about computers, I bet you are very technirific.  I just made up that word.  I do that sometimes.  Now that we are special pen pals, I can tell you that.

By the way, why are you so busy?  I thought you are in Mexico for your vacation.  I know that when I go to Mexico all I want to do is eat taco's and burrito's.  Sometimes I have nacho's and salsa but not the real hot stuff.  What do you like to eat?  I bet you like the super cheesy stuff.  I don't, but I have a friend who eats all kinds of cheese.  But, he doesn't like Mexican food.  That's why I want to fly out and spend time with you.  We can eat the taco's and burrito's together.

Oh!  I went to the post office again today.  They still said that the address you gave me does NOT exist.  They start typing on their computer like crazy and tell me that the only address they can find around there is:

53 Aguiyi Gokkun Street

Oshogbo, Nigeria  23435

Is there another address I can send the computer?  I think they are really getting mad at me and the computer is heavy.  I really want your other pen pal to get the computer from you.  Should I attach a note or anything?  I hope he isn't hurt when he finds out that I'm your new special-roni (I just made that word up too) pen pal.

Let me know about the address.

Your NEW favorite pen pal,

Tim

--My Nigerian FRIEND--------------------------

From: tim clen

Date: Thu, Mar 26, 2009 at 4:11 AM

hello

how are you doing today and i hope you fine cos i feel so great to read from you and it makes me feel great to cos all i can do is to be happy and also to make you happy always cos i was thinking i was never going to read from you and now i feel so much better with your mail 

my job is  Art Work i mean Drawing and Painting  and i feel great doing that but the reason why i was busy was just doing some little painting and when you said you wanted to be my pan pal i felt i should make you a great one hats why i was a little busy doing that for you just to make you great when we get to meet soon 

i will be willing to fly to you and make a better day cos i will love to hang out with you so i will be back before my vacation ends so when am back we could still have time to go out and have fun ok so it will be great to go out with you cos i cant just wait for that day to happen.

i am not to happy with what they said about the address cos its not my first time i wil send my pen pay some thing to that same address but here is the address once again and i will like you to  go to another post office and try with these address ok 

NAME - OTULE TUNDE

ADDRESS - 11 OGUNMUYIWA STREET ITERE,IJESHA,SURULERE LAGOS  

but i want you to know that i told my pen pal about you already and he was happy about it and said if you don't mind calling him if you can ok.  here is his number +2347031036725

so i hope to read from you my great friend 

--This was the second message in ONE day - He's a REAL friend now-----------------------

From: tim clen

Date: Thu, Mar 26, 2009 at 3:18 PM

hello 

how are you doing today and i hope you are doing great and having a great time but i am not happy cos have not read any mail form you cos you have been on my mind all day and on here waiting to read your sweet mail but i never got any but i was  thinking some thing was happening to you but i hope you are great 

so pls do get back to ma as soon as you read these so i can be happy that you are alright 

i wait to here from you soon 

--Me----------------------------

Hello Super Pen Pal,

I'm sorry my messages to you have gotten so long.  I'm just so super happyrifical that you have said that I'm your favorite pen pal.  I just know that you like to learn new things about me.  I want to know everything about you too.

You are painting a picture for me!?!  How wonderful!  I LOVE paintings.  Please, no clowns.  They creep me out.  I mean I like clowns as people, but after watching 'Poltergeist', I can't look at clowns the same way.  Don't paint any bowls of fruit either.  I like fruit, but if I want to see a bowl of fruit, I'll look at my own table.  Can you paint a picture of BURT REYNOLDS for me!?!  He was AWESOME in the movie Hooper.  I just saw that movie last week.  Now, I want to be a stunt man like Hooper.  My girlfriend thinks it's a stupid idea.  But, she doesn't understand how Hollywood works.  I'm going to call Hollywood and fill out an application.  I know I'll be greater than Hooper!  What do you think?

I wish I had a job as cool as Art work.  I work at a local pet shop called 'FluffyCat Cat Groomertorium'.  My official title is 'Feline Grooming Technician', which is just a fancy name for someone who washes cats.  It's a tough job because cats are squirmy and HATE to get wet.

Just the other day I was going to give Mipsy (the cat) a bath and she went CRAZY on me.  I turned the water on and she LOST HER FLUFFY MIND!!  She started howling and spitting.  When I picked her up, she bit my pinky finger and started climbing up my arm.  Of course I got mad because she was ripping my favorite KISS t-shirt.  When I tried to get her under control, she BIT MY EAR!!  So, now I'm REALLY mad!  This cat is screaming in my bleeding ear, my favorite KISS t-shirt is ripped to shreds and the cat is now trying to climb down my back!

I squirted her right in the face.  I hate Mipsy.

You know, I don't think I have ever shown my sensitive side to anyone before.  I've shown my dog (his name is Fartsy) how sensitive I can be, but never another human.  Most people don't talk to me.  Of course I consider Fartsy to be almost human.  He loves it when I talk to him.  I've been telling him about you and how wonderful it is to have a pen pal.  I know he knows what I'm saying because he chews on things when he understands.  Now that I think about it, he must understand everything I say because he chews on EVERYTHING.  Wow!  I have a really smart dog!  I bet I could get him on TV.

I'll check the internet to see how to do that.

Speaking of Fartsy, we have a problem :(.  He chewed a really big hole in the box the computer comes in and ate some of the styrofoam.  I can get another box for the computer, but it won't be as cool as the original.  Is that going to be a problem?

I found Fartsy lying in my beanbag chair groaning with all kinds of wet, slimy cardboard lying around him.  I started yelling, but he got upset and started running through the house and threw up all over the place.  The more I yelled, the more he ran and puked.  He finally passed out on the kitchen floor....and farted (that's why I call him Fartsy).  I just laughed and laughed after that.

I had to take him to the vet to get his stomach pumped out the rest of the way because the remaining styrofoam was plugging him up.  The whole trip cost me $110.00, but I'm not complaining.  Since you are willing to purchase my computer for more than I originally asked, the extra money will pay for the trip :).

I know you are an honest person and will pay me for the computer, but I went to www.penpal.com again like you said and still find it to be very confusing.  The girl is pretty, but I'm still not sure if I should register as a Christian Single or Single Parent.  Do you think you could send me a certified check instead?  I think that would be best.  I trust certified checks more than the internet anyway.

You truly are a wonderful person.  I cannot believe how generous you are.  I wish there were more people like you.  I can't wait for my painting and new birthday iPod :).

Let me know if you want me to get a different computer box.  Once I hear back from you, I'll go to the post office to send it out.  I wish I could call your NOT FAVORITE pen pal, but my phone was unhooked the other day.

Your favoritest pen pal,

Tim

--My Nigerian Pen Pal----------------------------

from tim clen

date Thu, Mar 26, 2009 at 6:54 PM

subject you make me happy always with your mail

mailed-by yahoo.com

you can go get it sent like that cos its no problem  with the pack ok  am waiting here to read from you se can talk much more on here ok 

--Me (I wanted to test his resolve)----------------------------

Jeff,

A weird thing happened to me today.  When I got home from my job at the FluffyCat Cat Groomertorium, there were some black cars at my house.  My girlfriend was freaking out on the front lawn talking to 8 men in suits.  She was telling them that I was stupid to talk to you.  I told her that she was jealous because I have a new pen pal and she doesn't.  She tried to get Fartsy to bite me, but he was busy chewing on a bone (I'm sure he knew everything that was happening).

They said they were from the government and were investigating your OLD pen pal Otule Tunde.  They said that my trips to the post office flagged their computer programs and they wanted to know your last name.  They wanted to know why I was trying to send my computer to your pen pal in Nigeria.  I told them I am your NEW pen pal and you don't like your old pen pal.  I told them that you were sending me a painting of Burt Reynolds.  I also told them that you were sending me a new iPod for my birthday (DON'T FORGET).

I showed them all of our e-mails and they wrote down your e-mail address.  I think they are going to e-mail you and try to be your pen pal's too.  Just remember that I am your favorite.

They told me not to send the computer right now because they have to check a few things.  I think if I go to a different post office they won't know.

What do you think?

You bestest and only pen pal,

Tim

--My Nigerian Pen Pal----------------------------

from tim clen

date Thu, Mar 27, 2009 at 6:54 PM

subject you make me happy always with your mail

mailed-by yahoo.com

you can go get it sent like that cos its no problem  with the pack ok  am waiting here to read from you se can talk much more on here ok 

--------------------------------------------------

During this time I was BCC'ing many of my friends.  I think one of them hit the Reply to All and Mr. Clen saw the message stating how stupid he was.  I never heard back from him again.