Imoh and the Baby

I couldn’t pass up this particular scam because it doesn’t just “tug” at the heartstrings…it frickin’ YANKS them. I wanted to see just how far this joker was willing to go. I figured the best character for this was a helpful woman who simply can’t stand by while someone is trying to protect the woman he loves and his unborn baby.


Characters:

Scammer:  Imoh Derek (with girlfriend Chioma)
Scammer e-mail:  helpmsirnmadam12@gmail.com
Me:  Ms. Tess Steckle and her cat Mr. Fluffykins

Here’s our story…
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Dear friend,


Good day, my name is Imoh Derek from nigeria ,please have mercy on me and listen to what i have to say,i made a mistake i shouldnt have made,but that will not make me to sin again, my girlfriend got pregnant for me and i cannot deny being responsible for the pregnancy,i am a poor youngman but she came from a rich family,we both love each other and i want to give the child the chance to live and see life, but her father wants the baby to be ABORTED by all means,the pregnancy is upto one month plus and her life will be at stake on aborting the baby, the father never considered all these things simply because he wanted her to marry his business partner,he has ordered his guards to beat me up and yet he is not ready to give up.
sir/madam, please i know i do not know you before but since friends and relatives have left me alone to suffer for my mistake,i decided to ask for help anywhere,i would have gone to look for a job but her father has sent his boys on a look out for me and God help me if they find me,my good friend whom am leaving with at the moment gave me his internet laptop computer and access, he suggested i seak help through the internet,he said that that is the best he could do for me,please i ask for your favour to help me financialy,nomatter how little ,just to give this child a chance to live again,i have ran away with Chioma my girlfriend,and i intend to stay away till she puts to bed so that the safety of our baby will be gauranteed,but now,we find it very difficult to feed properly,not to talk of taking her to hospital for medical check-ups.
please i realy need your help for i am very broke and confused.
please if you have any financial support for us,let me know, the child will live with your help,success,favour and blessings will never
depart from you nor your household as you hear the cry of the poor and come to my rescue.
thanks you and remain blessed for your understanding as i await your reply.
regards,


Imoh Derek.


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Dear Mr. Imoh,

Being a woman of the new millennium, I can honestly say that I’m outraged by the behavior of Chimama’s father! The very thought of him sending his “boys” to beat you up just makes me see red!!!

I will be more than happy to help you and Chimika and your poor, unborn baby.

Please let me know how I can help.

Sincerely,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Thank you very much Tess for replying to my mail,i feel some relief knowing that someone cares and feels for my situation,i do not know you but my God will find you and bless you accordingly.

i intend to travel to our neighouring country(Ghana) with my girl,by so doing,our safety and that of our unborn baby will be gauranteed,but i need some money for atleast our flight fee and some other little needs which would cost about $2,500(usd),but any amount you can afford will be very very much appreciated.

Because i do not operate an account of my own,You can send us any amount you wish to help us with through western union or monegram stransfer(any one that is convinience and stress free for you) using my name as stated below;

Name:Imoh Derek
Address: Lagos state, Nigeria

Please also remember to send me a scanned attached copy of the payment slip so i could use the informations contained in it to lay claims to any amount you sent us.

MOST IMPORTANTLY,PLEASE DO NOT USE ANY FORM OF SECURITY SHIELD TO SEND THE MONEY,AS I HAVE ENCOUNTERED A PROBLEM IN THE PAST(LAST WEAK) TRYING TO RECEIVE FUNDS THROUGH IT FROM A GOOD FELLOW LIKE YOU,AND ALONG THE LINE I LOSS THE MONEY,PLEASE JUST ASK THEM TO TRANSFER IT DIRECTLY AND GIVE YOU THE SLIP,this box is my personal box,so any information you sent will get to me alone.

God bless you as i await to hear from you.

Regards,

IMoh Derek.
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Author note: I love how his message tells me to eliminate any method to protect myself when I send money to him. He is basically telling me he's a liar.

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Dear Mr. Imoh,

Thank you for your kind words. I’m sure God is looking down at all of us and shaking his head and smiling. He might even be washing his hands with a special, Holy liquid hand soap with lotion so his hands stay soft and clean and holy.

I think it’s a great idea that you and Chiniqua travel to Ghana. I’m sure her father and his “boys” will NEVER find you there. You are being very clever and thoughtful. I can tell that you are going to be a good father.

I’m a little confused though about the cost of the airfare and sundries you mentioned. I did some checking on my “computer” and found that the distance between Lagos and Ghana is approximately 257 miles. What kind of plane were you going to use? I’m sure there aren’t any commercial airlines that travel that minimal distance.

I’m afraid that your heightened stress level is causing you to misjudge and miscalculate your travel options. Allow me to help. I bet you could hire a taxi to take you there for $200.00 (including tip). I’m also concerned about Chimaiya flying while pregnant. Any plane travelling that distance would, most likely, be something extremely small that’s held together with metal hangers and duct tape.

I think travelling by bus or car is your best bet.

Look into the different options I outlined and let me know what you find. If you need any help, please count on me. I love to help.

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Dear Tess,

Thank you very much for your concern,you are really caring and understanding,your kind is very rare to find in this crazy world of ours,but the same God that gave you a good heart will always bless and suppy your needs in his abundant riches and glory.

Yes i think taking a taxi will be ok and it will also save cost,but if you read my mail very well,you will find out that i said {TAKE CARE OF OTHER NEEDS}, Ghana is a new land to me,so i intend the rent a one-room apartment in Ghana for me and chioma instead of staying in a hotel which will be a waste of money,i also intend to feed chioma properly and take care of her medical expenses pending i would be able to find something to do to earn money by myself.

Dear Tess,i understand that times are hard,so any amount you could afford will be highly appreciated.

Thanks for your understanding.

Regards,

Derek.
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Author note: I thought it would be helpful to find out as much as I could about Ghana to help them understand the different culture and sights. I found a website with obscure trivia. So, I decided to share.
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Dear Mr. Imoh,

Oh dear, I hope you didn’t think I didn’t read your message. I read every word of your messages, but I was crying at the time and I think the tears may have blurred that particular part. The predicament you and Chimoya are in right now literally breaks my heart.

I’m very happy that you’ve decided to go to Ghana by taxi. I do think it’s the best mode of transportation for the both of you (and the baby). I think you might even find the trip to be exciting too. You’ll be able to talk to the different people and take in some of the sights.

I’ve been reading as much as I can about Ghana so I can better help you and Chimiqua. Did you know that Lake Bosumtwi in Ghana formed in a hollow created by a meteorite? Isn’t that fascinating?!?

I found that Ghana means “warrior king” and when you want to say “Merry Christmas” in Ghana, you say “Afishapa”. Another little known fact is that it’s not rude to pick your nose in public. Although I find that intriguing, I also find it to be a little repulsive and unsanitary. I don’t recommend you or Chimana do this because you could get sick and that would be bad for the baby.

I have a very good friend who used to live in Ghana and when I told her that you were looking to get an apartment she was thrilled and gave me some names of people who can help you find a clean and economical place to live. You don’t have to thank me now, but I called one of the number and spoke to a lovely man named Mr. Ifekh who is sending me photos of 2 apartments.

I’m going to wire some money to you tomorrow. I got to the bank too late today because I had to take Mr. Fluffykins (my cat) to the vet for a checkup. They found a lump on his tail and wanted to keep him overnight for observation.

Please take care of yourself and your girlfriend and your unborn baby.

Sincerely,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Ohh!!! Tess,

Are you sure you are from this part of the world? you must be God sent to our lives,i do not know what to say because i am short of words,i promise you that once i receive the money and arrive Ghana safely with Chioma,i will keep on contacting you from there.

Since we neither have silver nor gold to pay you back with for your kindness,Chioma and i have decided that once the baby is born safely,we will honour you by asking you to name our baby for us,and any name you choose will just be ok with us.

Thanks a million as we wait to hear from you by tommorrow.

Regards,

Imoh Derek.
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Author note: They are going to let me name their unborn child!!! I have to find the “perfect” name for this little bundle of love.
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Dear Imoh,

You lovely man! I can’t believe you are going to allow me to name your baby. How wonderful!!! I have some name ideas.

If it’s a boy:
1. Peregrino
2. Terach
3. Deodar
4. Wadly
5. Marland
6. Bingo
7. Palmerston

If it’s a girl:
1. Vigilia
2. Godgreyda
3. Eberta
4. Laurence
5. Auberta
6. Agrippina
7. Angharad

I’m going to pick up Mr. Fluffykins in an hour and then I plan on going to the bank to send the money for you and Chimichanga. Please stay safe and take care of your lovely, unborn baby.

Sincerely,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com

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Dear Imoh,

I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to send the money transfer detail to you and Chimiqua yesterday. I had some terrible news!

Remember how I told you that Mr. Fluffykins has a lump on his tail? Well, the doctor did some tests and found out that he has “Feline Lumpitailosis”!! Isn’t that terrible!?! I’m beside myself! I’m in total despair! The only way to save poor Mr. Fluffykins is to his tail amputated! Can you believe that?!?! Mr. Fluffykins without a tail! I can’t stop crying!

Wait a second…where are the tissues…oh, there they are…wail…cry…sob…sob…sob..cry…

OK, I’m back. Sorry. Any kind words are greatly appreciated.

Anyway, here’s the Moneygram detail you’ll need to get the money in Ghana.

Senders Name: Tess Steckle
Receivers Name: Imoh Derek
Amount Sent: $1,500.00
Question: Who’s my cat?
Answer: Mr. Fluffykins!
Control Number: 65751574

Please let me know how your trip was and tell me which of the names you liked best.

Sincerely,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Dear Tess,

I am really very sorry for your cat`s(Mr. Fluffykins) condition,please do not think much of it,everything will be fine ok?

My dear,i do not understand why you should send the money to Ghana instead of Nigeria,Firstly the attached copy you sent me is empty, i told you that part of whatever you sent will be used for our transport which is the most important thing,we cannot treak all the way from Nigeria to Ghana,secondly, you can only withdraw money hear in Africa using either your national identity card,or international passport which bears the same name and address that was used to send money to you,my national identity card bears my name(Imoh derek) And address(Lagos state, Nigeria) and that is what i gave you as the information to use.what address did you use as my address to send the money?

Honestly speaking,i do not understand all this.

Please get back to me.

Regards,

Derek.

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Author note: Of course I knew they wouldn’t be able to retrieve the “money” in Ghana. They couldn’t retrieve the money from anywhere because there wasn’t any money, but you already knew that.

I decided to sweeten the pot and give Imoh more incentive to stick with me. Yup, I’ve rented a fully furnished apartment in Ghana for them. I must be the sweetest person in the world…if this were true.
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Dear Imoh,

Thank you for the kind words. I told Mr. Fluffykins about your kindness and understanding and he smiled. Of course he always looks like he’s smiling, but I could tell he was quite impressed.

I’m sorry about the mix-up with the money transfer. I misunderstood your earlier messages. I thought you were travelling to Ghana as soon as possible. As a matter of fact, I thought you were already there. You had mentioned that others have given you money, so I thought you had money for the taxi ride to Ghana.

Did you know that there are pink chickens in the market place in Ghana? Very intriguing!

I have surprise for you and Chimichanga!! I’ve already wired money to Mr. Ifekh (the wonderful landlord) and paid for 6 months rent in a very nice, furnished apartment for the three of you (the baby is the 3rd). Let me know when you get there and I’ll get you the details. I really wanted to wait to tell you, but you seem a little upset with me and I want the address to be a surprise. I just know that you’ll love it!

It’s interesting how you had trouble with the attachment. Mr. Ifekh didn’t have any trouble at all. As a matter of fact he said everything worked perfectly. I guess you’re just having computer trouble. Are you sure you double-clicked the attachment? I know that you mentioned that this is a new computer. Perhaps you haven’t completely learned how to use it.

I’m glad you told me about all of the rules and regulations for money transfers. This last message has been very clear and concise. I can tell you are very informed about money transfers. I’ll go to the bank tomorrow and see about changing the transfer detail. I’m certain we won’t have any further issues.

Oh, please let me know which baby names you like best. I can’t wait to see which one you’re going to use.

Thanks again for the kind words about Mr. Fluffykins. I’ve attached a picture of him for you and Chomoinga. I dressed him up like a chicken (but not a pink chicken like in Ghana).


Please take care,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com

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Dear,

I forgot,as for the name of our baby,its entirely your choice,just choose the best name for you and name her/him,anyone you choose we will approve.

Derek.
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Imoh,

Nonsense! There’s no way I would feel comfortable simply naming your new, unborn bundle of love! This has to be a group decision. I think you and Chamois should decide on 2 names each (2 for a boy and 2 for a girl), then let me know and I’ll pick from there.

Doesn’t that sound lovely?!? I think it’s completely fair.

Oh, when you get to Ghana I think you should know that Ghana derived its name from the 10th century Empire of Ghana which was actually located closer to the Sahara than on the coast as the country of Ghana is today. I think these tips and interesting facts about Ghana will help you and Chimina when you get there.

Well, I have to go pick up Mr. Fluffykins from the doctor. He said the procedure went very well. The doctor said that Mr. Fluffykin’s tail was VERY attached to his body and he had to use a pair of “tin snips” to cut it off. But, he said that the tail has been thrown in the trash and Mr. Fluffykins is feeling much better today.

Oh, what did you think of the picture I sent? I’m sure you LOVED him. I sure do! I’m sending another picture of him so you can enjoy him even more. This is the one where I dressed him up like a Royal Princess. He’s absolutely ADORABLE!!!

Just so you know…once I’m done getting Mr. Fluffykins home and comfortable, I’ll go to the bank and resend the money.

Please get me those names for your baby. I can’t wait to see which names you liked best!

Sincerely,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Dear Tess,

I must say that your cat is a very handsome one,and he really looks healthy,it shows you really take care of him,is he your closest friend? i hear that white people always have pets as their best friends,is it true? because its not so here.

Well we will prefer Terach or Deodar if its a boy,then Eberta or Vigilia if its a girl.

I look forward to hear from you.

Derek.
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Author note: I think they have wonderful taste in names.
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Dear Imoh,

What a wonderful thing to say about Mr. Fluffykins!!! I told him about what you said and he is elated! He is absolutely purring his little motor at full throttle! I’ll make sure to send another photo for you (I can tell how much you enjoy them). But, you are correct. I spend a tremendous amount of energy making sure he’s healthy and happy and furry. I add bacon grease to his food so his coat is always shiny and bright! He definitely loves his bacon.

I can’t believe that people in your country hate cats though. That’s would be terrible!!! I certainly hope that YOU don’t hate cats!! Do you hate cats?!? Why on Earth would anyone hate a cat?!? They are loyal, clean, reverent, honest, caring, happy, thrifty, brave, fast, cunning, furry, smart, frugal, discreet, economical, prudent, efficient, watchful, companions. I certainly hope that you treat cats with the respect they deserve!

I’m afraid that I’m a little light-headed right now. I’m deeply vexed.

I have to go lie down…

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com

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Oh!! No!! Tess,

I do not hate cats,as a matter of fact i am a lover of animals,i have always wish to own a dog of my own,but i do not have the cash to buy and care for one,its just that most people do not think in the same direction with me here in Nigeria.

my dear,how is your day today?

Regards,

Derek.
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Dear Mr. Derek,

Whew! What a load off of my mind! You have no idea how happy I am knowing that you love animals. I would hate to think that I've rented a furnished apartment for someone who was going to find little animals and torture them in such a lovely place. Mr. Fluffykins was upset last night too. He wouldn't touch his "special kibble-wibbles" that I made for him. He was shaking all over because he was afraid that you would hurt him.

You can tell the cat-hating people in Nigeria that they should embrace the fluffy companions and treat them with the love and respect! I'm very angry at them right now!

You know, I really feel strongly about children and pets. I'm going to make sure I add an extra $100 to the money I'm transferring to you and Chinzie so you can get a puppy for the baby. You can't imagine how happy little "Terach" is going to be when he has a little, cold nose sniffing him and wet, sloppy tongue giving him "kisses". I only ask that you take some photos and send them to me and Mr. Fluffykins.

I'll make sure I get to the bank tomorrow morning and get the money transferred to you and Chamoise so you can travel to Ghana. Did you know that Ghana is the size of the UK and consists of rainforest, savannah, scrub and the biggest man-made lake in the world – Lake Volta? I cannot believe how much fun you are going to have there!

Please make sure you stay hidden from your lovely girlfriend's father's thugs. I don't want anything bad happening to either one of you. You are truly special people and MUST get to Ghana!

Sincerely,


Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Dear Imoh,

I went to the bank today to send you the money. I’m afraid that when I arrived, there was a problem.

You see, one of the main reasons I bank at this particular location is because of their exquisite landscaping. They have some of the most BEAUTIFUL Japanese Maples you’ve ever seen. They also have 3 Twiggy Norway Spruce’s and a Kentucky Coffee and a lovely, 14-year old Virginia Creeper. But, the problem was caused by their Prickly Ash! One of the largest branches broke off and literally ripped the wires out of the building. It was dreadful!

I was told that they don’t have any internets service today (and probably won’t until late tomorrow). I spoke to one of the repair men (he was a very friendly man). He said that when the wires were torn from the building it caused their alarm service to activate and mobilize local law authorities. He said that the FBI is going to arrive tomorrow to make sure there wasn’t any “foul play”.

He said that he has a Prickly Ash and it’s never had branches just fall off for no reason.

So, I was unable to send you the money I promised. Believe me when I tell you that I am beside myself with grief. I know how you and Chittery are hiding from those bad men and need the money to get to Ghana. I’ll make sure I get to the bank tomorrow as soon as they have their computer systems back up and running and talking to the internet.

I was doing some more research about Ghana and found that Southern Ghana contains evergreen and semi deciduous forests, consisting of tall silk cottons, kolas, and valuable West African hardwoods such as mahogany, odum, and ebony. I truly wish I was travelling with the 3 of you. I find Ghana absolutely fascinating.


I will contact you tomorrow.

Sincerely,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Dear Imoh,

You’ll be happy to know that I went to the bank and they “believe” their internets service is running again. They mentioned that there were a few issues in the early afternoon, but they were pretty sure everything is A-OK.

Anyway, I’ve personally sent the money to you. As I mentioned in my message yesterday, I’ve added $100.00 to the original amount so you can purchase a little, furry puppy for your new baby. I just KNOW that the puppy will bring endless joy to you and your new baby.

Here’s the transfer detail you need to retrieve the money:

Senders Name: Tess Steckle
Receivers Name: Imoh Derek
Amount Sent: $1,600.00
Question: Who’s my cat?
Answer: Mr. Fluffykins!
Control Number: 75984552

Oh, I also heard from Mr. Ifekh today. He has assured me that your new apartment is ready and when you arrive, everything will be in order. I just think he’s wonderful, don’t you? Once he sends me a picture of the apartment, I’ll forward it off to you.

Please give Chewbacca my love and tell her that everything is going to be fine! You can count on me!

Sincerely,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Author note: I was pretty sure calling his girlfriend Chewbacca was pushing it, but I couldn’t stop myself.
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Hello,

stop mutulating my girls name,her name is Chioma so stop calling her all sorts of names,the payment information you gave me is fake,thanks for time wasted,i wish you whatever you wish me.

Bye forever.

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Imoh,

I’m sorry for the mistaken name. I’m terrible with names and for some reason my e-mail program automatically moves your messages after I read them so I couldn’t make sure they were right. I sincerely “apologize”.

Please forgive me.

But, I can assure you that the Moneygram information is NOT fake. I genuinely want to “help” you both (and your “baby”). I forgot to ask Mrs. Shlebenalwitzenheimer to give me a scanned copy of the receipt yesterday. While at the bank she told me that they were still experiencing computer problems with their money transfers yesterday. Remember I told you about how the tree branch severed the wires outside?

I went to the bank this morning to find out why you weren’t able to get the money and they were kind enough to give me a scanned copy of the receipt while I was there. I’ve attached the receipt so you’ll see I’m honestly trying to “help”.

Please go to the Moneygram office one more time and use this receipt to get the money so you can go to Ghana. Mr. Ifekh contacted me last night. He’s waiting with your furnished apartment and wondering when you will arrive. Why would I give you fake Moneygram information when I’ve already paid for 6 months rent for your apartment??

Please give CHIOMA (see I got it right) a hug from me and please go to the Moneygram office one more time so you can see I’m being “honest”. I NEED you to know that I’m being “honest” and “good” and “truthful” and “straightforward”. Once you go to the Moneygram office this time, you’ll see that I’m blameless. I’m sure we will look back at this one day and laugh and laugh.

Please believe me.

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Sorry Tess,

i could not few the attchment because its kind of protected,just attach it the same way you attched the picture of your cat and send it to me so i could be able to view it just like i viewed your Cat,Dear,i really want to believe you,i truelly wish to,you stated off like i really nice and considerate person.

Thank you,pls send the slip.


Derek.
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Author note: OK, I sent him a fake receipt twice. He’s been to the Moneygram office 3 times with no money. And, I called his girlfriend Chewbacca. I guess I'm going to have to work a little to get him to trust me again…
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Imoh,

I’m so deeply hurt that you don’t trust me. How could someone who is expecting a “baby” be so hurtful? So… cruel? So callous? I’ve never once thought that you weren’t being “honest” with me. I’ve always thought of you as a “kind” and “considerate” and “honest” person.

But, now you type words that hurt me down to the core of my bowels. My bowels ache now. They ache the same as when I drink milk. I’m lactose intolerant and when I drink milk, it goes through me like a jail on wheels. One time, I ate some ice cream and almost didn’t make it home. Wow! That was one awful night.

I’ve rented a furnished apartment for you and your girlfriend (and unborn baby). I’ve spent hours poring over details of Ghana for you so that you won’t feel like a foreigner when you get there. I’m sure you would have been deeply surprised when you saw pink chickens! But, because of my research, you know that they exist.

I’ve attached the receipt again. I hope you can read it and go to the Moneygram office and retrieve the money and send me a message of “thanks” and “love”. I don’t appreciate the hostility and insinuations of foul play.

Sincerely,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Dear Imoh,

I’m sure you have the money by now and are on your way to Ghana. I couldn’t check with my bank today because they’re closed for Labor Day. I’ll check tomorrow morning. But, please let me know when you get to Ghana. Once you’re there, I’ll give you the address to your new apartment. I just CAN’T wait to surprise you with the address. Mr. Ifekh said that you will LOVE it, and I’m sure you will.

Oh, Mr. Fluffykins is all aflutter knowing how happy you and your girlfriend are. He asked me (in kitty-talk) to send you another photo of him. I’m attaching one of my favorites. He calls himself “Mr. Awesome”! I’m sure you’ll agree that he does look fab-u-lous!!!

Please take care and let me know when you get to Ghana.

Sincerely,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com

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Author note: He’s back!
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Dear Tess,

I am really sorry for my hard words to you,i am a bit fraustrated and you should please understand and forgive me,my last encounter made me to say those words to you,i will go to the bank first thing tomorrow morning and i will get back to you once i collect the money,after which we will leave for Ghana the next day,can i call you with the number you gave me?

Regards,

Derek.
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Dear Imoh,

Thank you for your apology. I only hope that you’ll remember that I’m here to help you and your girlfriend (and unborn baby). The next time, you’re about to type unpleasant text, take a breath and remember that foul language only makes you look bad. I’m sorry to say that I lost a little respect for you that day (so did Mr. Fluffykins). Of course, I still greatly respected your girlfriend (and unborn baby) because they weren’t mean to me.

Now that you’ve apologized, everything is erased and we are on “good” terms again. I’m sorry to say that Mr. Fluffykins tends to hold grudges though.

Anyway, let me know that you have the money and let me know when you get to Ghana. Did you know that Tamale is the capital city of the Northern region of Ghana mostly inhabited by the Mole-Dagomba linguistic group. The city is home to about 350,000 people. Fascinating…simply fascinating.

I’m attaching another photo of Mr. Fluffykins. He’s a little under the weather today. It appears that he’s been spending way too much time cleaning himself. I heard the worst noise coming from the bedroom today. When I got in there, I saw Mr. Fluffykins vomiting the largest hairball I’ve ever seen. It looked like he was puking a large, red and orange, hairy snake. When he finished, he started eating it again which repulsed me a bit.

I was able to pull him away from that hairy, regurgitated food and fur and he’s been sleeping the rest of the day. I do hope he’s OK.

Take care,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Dear Imoh,

I was under the impression that you were in dire need to get to Ghana. I was under the impression that you and your girlfriend needed to get away from the hooligans her father hired to maltreat you. I was under the impression that you knew how to retrieve money from the Moneygram office.

If these are indeed facts, why have you NOT retrieved the money? I went to the bank yesterday and today and both times, I was informed that the money has not been retrieved.

Do you not like my money? Do you no longer need the money? Are you currently in the hospital with multiple contusions and lacerations? Are you currently getting “ringers lactate” and D5W?

Please let me know because the apartment in Ghana is still unused and I have wasted a week’s worth of rent.

Sincerely,


Tess
tess.steckle@live.com
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Dear Imoh,

My bank is closed today so I can only assume that you’ve retrieved the money and reached Ghana safely. How’s the weather? Isn’t it beautiful there?!?

I’ve been waiting 2 weeks to give you the address of your new apartment!!! Now, that you’re there, I can tell you. You can find Mr. Ifekh at E. Ring Road Central, 91 Accra, Ghana. Give him my name and he’ll simply give you the keys and show you to the door.

Just think of me every time you wake up in your beautiful accommodations. Think of me every time your new puppy licks your face. Think of me every time you purchase more toys and diapers for your new baby (Deiter or Destiny).

Think of me every time someone tells you something new about Ghana that I already told you.

Please let me know if you need more money. I’ll happily see what I can do. Oh, I told some of my friends about you and they wish to help you too. Isn’t it amazing how much “good” can come from a simple e-mail request?

Love,

Tess
tess.steckle@live.com


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Author note: Well, it appears that Imoh has decided that Tess wasn’t as helpful as he once thought. My last message to him was an attempt to get him angry at me and possibly write me again. But, I haven’t heard from him to find out how his trip to Ghana turned out.